People with high levels of narcissism tend to respond very defensively when their positive self-evaluations are threatened.
A Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist thinks their self-esteem or self-worth is threatened. Because narcissists have very low self-esteem, they become incredibly defensive and frustrated when their shortcomings are pointed out.
The four key signs of narcissism are grandiosity, extreme self-focus, an inflated sense of self-worth, and a strong need for praise and recognition.
The primary reason is control. When you ask a question, you are in control in that moment because you have dictated what the conversation will be about. This throws off the narcissist. As a result, they become defensive and deflect to get control back.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Narcissists may use a blame-shifting apology, where they apologize but then shift the blame onto the other person. For example, they may say, “I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you made me so angry.” This type of apology does not take responsibility for their actions and places the blame on the other person.
The question asked in the video is: “What makes you so different from anyone else?” It was referring to how infallible and superior narcissists see themselves. They cannot answer why they are so wonderful and perfect; they are special, and that's all you need to know about them.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
Extremely selfish. Unable to deal with criticism, perceived slights, or disagreements. Hypersensitive, defensive, and anxious. Not settling for anything less than what you think you deserve.
Based on overlapping symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are often mistaken for one another.
A defensive person can be someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse that is constantly criticized. A defensive person can also be someone that has low self-esteem or that has a difficult time listening to criticisms about themself.
A Defender (ISFJ) is someone with the Introverted, Observant, Feeling, and Judging personality traits. These people tend to be warm and unassuming in their own steady way. They're efficient and responsible, giving careful attention to practical details in their daily lives. Love only grows by sharing.
Defensiveness is a harmful and unhealthy emotional coping strategy that leads to personal and relationship dissatisfaction over time by avoiding bad feelings in the short term and not actually solving the problem.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You're too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.
Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. You may experience insults, put-downs, and even mocking behaviors, like laughing as you express hurt.
Narcissistic friends seek out constant praise, prioritize their own needs, lack empathy, have high expectations of their friends, and often end friendships when they no longer serve them.
A gaslight apology is an apology given that often appears sincere but the person is actually not taking any responsibility for what they have caused.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Pretty much anything that doesn't give a narcissist what they feel entitled to will make them angry. If you ignore them, disregard their advice, or make decisions without getting their input, they will make their disapproval known to you.