In fact, it's a trauma response known as fawning. At its core, Caroline Fenkel, LCSW, chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, says that fawning (aka over-explaining yourself) is an attempt to avoid conflict.
According to Banks, overexplaining can be a trauma response and can develop as a result of gaslighting. She adds that anxiety or ADHD can also lead to overexplaining and it can happen to those who grew up with a strict upbringing where “you had to justify your choices”.
Over-explaining can be considered a fawn trauma response. Fawning is when a person engages in people-pleasing behaviors in order to avoid conflict.
Trauma dumping refers to persistently oversharing traumatic experiences with people who may not be ready or willing to receive this information. Trauma is a sensitive topic. While some conversations bring intimacy and healing, others may breed more trauma. It's not always clear when bringing up trauma is appropriate.
In the most extreme situations, you might have lapses of memory or “lost time.” Schauer & Elbert (2010) refer to the stages of trauma responses as the 6 “F”s: Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fright, Flag, and Faint.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
You may see over-explaining as a way to be honest or to boost another person's emotional state. It could also be that you are a chattier person, especially when you feel you can contribute to the situation, and, once stimulated, you talk too much.
According to neuroscientist and inventor of BrainTap Patrick Porter, PhD, the need to over explain yourself typically stems of childhood trauma. “If the person felt they were abandoned in some way, they learn to please others so others won't leave them,” he says.
When you constantly explain yourself, it can come across as if you are not confident with who you are. This will make other people think that they know better than you do and may cause them to lose respect for your decisions in the future.
The fawn response to trauma is not an uncommon one, but it is the newest accepted addition to the primary reactions to perceived danger. The fawn response is when an individual tries to avoid or minimize distress or danger by pleasing and appeasing the threat.
What types of trauma cause the fawn response? The fawn response is most commonly associated with childhood trauma and complex trauma — types of trauma that arise from repeat events, such as abuse or childhood neglect — rather than single-event trauma, such as an accident.
The keywords in SAMHSA's concept are The Three E's of Trauma: Event(s), Experience, and Effect. When a person is exposed to a traumatic or stressful event, how they experience it greatly influences the long-lasting adverse effects of carrying the weight of trauma.
over·ex·plain ˌō-vər-ik-ˈsplān. overexplained; overexplaining. transitive + intransitive. : to explain (something) to an excessive degree. The stories tended to be as simple as a good children's picture-book, so that nothing needed to be overexplained.
Experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks. Avoiding more and more anything that reminds you of the trauma. Emotionally numb and disconnected from others. Using alcohol or drugs to feel better.
Most of the time, trauma dumping is not purposefully abusive or manipulative. It's more common for a dumper to be so involved in talking about their traumatic experience that they are unaware of how their story is impacting their listeners.
Alexithymia: When You Have No Words To Describe How You're Feeling. Estimated reading time: 8 minutes.
It's a common belief that narcissists talk about themselves a lot. While this may be true, frequent use of the words"me" and "I" in conversation may indicate something else. This "I-talk" could be a sign someone is emotionally distressed, according to new research.
An explanation is a theory about why something happened or why we should do one thing rather than another. A justification is a story about why we are right, or probably right, to adopt one theory rather than another or one proposal for action rather than another.
Re-experiencing or re-living unwanted memories as flashbacks or nightmares. Hyper-arousal: problems with sleep, irritability, anger, anxiety, hyper-alertness, exaggerated startle response. Hypo-arousal: feeling numb or cut off, feeling detached from others, dissociating, feeling flat or empty. Emotional dysregulation.
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
The three R's – Reaching the traumatised brain. Dr Bruce Perry a pioneering neuroscientist in the field of trauma has shown us to help a vulnerable child to learn, think and reflect, we need to intervene in a simple sequence.
If you often feel as though your life has become unmanageable, this could be a sign that you have some unresolved emotional trauma. Emotional overreactions are a common symptom of trauma. A victim of trauma might redirect their overwhelming emotions towards others, such as family and friends.