Ghosting can be manipulative. By not officially ending things or giving you proper closure, it's easier for them to reappear in your life at a later time. Most ghosting scenarios are unforgivable, so when/if a ghoster reappears don't give them the satisfaction of a second chance or forgiveness.
New research reveals a rise in the 'Guilty-Ghoster', as nearly half of those who admitted to ghosting say they regret doing so. Over a third said this was because they felt guilty about their actions and 35% said they were worried they'd hurt their feelings, according to research from dating app Badoo.
It shows you have no respect for another person's feelings. It say you are inconsiderate and don't care much about the impact or consequences of your actions. It's easier than breaking up but it also shows you have no character when you choose easy over integrity.
Not all ghosters will feel a sense of regret. It is, in fact, rare but does happen with some partners. For these people, they realize that they made a mistake by ghosting someone, creating hurt for another person, and causing them to feel guilty. They admit their selfishness and come with an apology.
At its worst, ghosting is a trauma that can affect your willingness to trust others again or enter into future relationships. You might find yourself so fixated on getting closure from the ghoster that you can't move forward.
Relationship experts and psychologists agree that people who ghost are avoiding an uncomfortable situation. This evasion, while perceived as a lack of regard, is often because they feel it's the best way to handle their own distress or inability to clearly communicate.
After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings.
Ghosting is a sign of emotional immaturity.
Some days you'll feel great, and then you may have hard days again. This is normal. Although being ghosted is incredibly painful, try to remind yourself that you are better off without someone capable of such cruelty and disregard for your feelings.
Not every ghoster who does hoovering will turn out to be a narcissist. The key is to generally identify this person's motives and intentions. While we cannot read their minds, we can make do with what they previously did. If they previously harmed you in any capacity, this is a no-go situation.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
It's a power play.
Sometimes a person may choose to ghost someone because they enjoy the sense of power it gives them over the situation, says Manly.
Ghosting demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person's feelings and a lack of empathy for how the ghosting may impact them. They assume that the other person will “get the hint” and can use this to justify their actions.
Ghosting hurts; it's a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.
While every relationship is different, three days is enough time to consider yourself ghosted. Sure, everyone has emergencies or can come up with a valid excuse for not responding, but letting things linger for three days or longer is enough to categorise it as a ghosted situation.
They may feel too emotionally vulnerable to tolerate your reaction, and rationalize that avoiding a confrontation is necessary for their wellbeing, even if it causes you pain. Many ghosters suffer from fragile egos and low self-esteem, and believe they're just doing you a favor.
If we're being real, it's easier to ignore a problem until it just goes away than having to face an uncomfortable situation, but ghosting is selfish and cowardly. "Though a ghoster's intentions aren't necessarily malicious, the behavior is ultimately selfish and childish," says Meyers.
Do ghosters feel guilty about ghosting? Sometimes. A recent study of primarily female college students showed that 65% of respondents who ghosted felt some level of anxiety and guilt over what they had done.
Ceasing all contact with a friend or leaving their messages unopened may be a way to avoid confrontation or a tough conversation, but ghosting may backfire. Those who cut contact with friends without explanation saw an increase in depressive feelings, according to a new study.
The Avoidant Attachment Style and Ghosting
People high on attachment avoidance are typically more likely to be the ghoster than the ghostee. According to research, they tend to use more “indirect” ways to end a relationship, such as avoiding their partner, withdrawing, or distancing their communication.
They genuinely miss you.
Ghosters like that might be asking for a new chance. It's okay to take someone back after they ghost you, as long as they apologize for ghosting in the first place. If they're not sorry for doing it (or don't understand what they did wrong), they're more likely to do it again.
Ghosting can be considered emotionally abusive because it is a passive yet aggressive relational pattern that leads those who are “ghosted” with negative mental health effects such as low self-esteem, anxiety, betrayal, hurt, and confusion.
Unwanted thoughts and intrusive memories can subsequently be triggered by being ghosted. These memories come from the Hippocampus, the part of the brain that consolidates memory and constantly adds to it.
You are not the only one who has been ghosted. No matter what reason they give you, no matter how good, you can't trust it. A relationship with a ghoster will likely be toxic for you. They took their first chance with you and showed you immediately that you couldn't trust them or rely on them.