Once the first child is born, time pressure increases for both parents. Yet this effect is substantially larger for mothers than fathers. Second children double parents' time pressure, further widening the gap between mothers and fathers.
As a result, parents find that their mental and physical health takes a big hit with two kids thanks to the effect of chronic stress. And that's especially true for women in cisgendered, straight relationships, where both partners tend to slot, unconsciously or otherwise, into traditional carer/earner roles.
With your first kid, it sort of seems like everything takes forever, but the second go-around, you realize just how quickly time passes, for better or worse. Two kids often means twice as many hard parts, but it also means twice as many magical opportunities to watch the little people you love learn and grow.
In terms of happiness, a compelling argument for having an only child comes from science that strongly indicates that mothers with one child are happiest.
They found that one or two children made no difference to happiness, for men or women. However, this study found that three or more children negatively affected well-being. But there is more to life than just happiness. Often, the moments we truly savor are stressful.
According to a Gallup poll, 4 in 10 Americans say three or more children is the ideal family size.
According to the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) and Western University in Canada, having a third baby won't make you any happier. While parents' happiness increases in the year before and after the first and second children, the birth of third children doesn't see the same increased happiness.
Two kids require more time, more attention, and more energy than one, which means you have less of all of those to spend on each other. Date nights, romantic evenings, and even casual conversations are harder to come by. You also have more things to disagree on.
According to a study out of Australia's Edith Cowan University, parents with the most life satisfaction (which means those who are the happiest) are those that have four or more children.
Based on the study findings, they suggest the optimal time between giving birth and getting pregnant again is 18 months, with a range of 12 to 24 months. That said, many experts still adhere to the recommendation of 18 to 24 months.
"The survey finds that the majority of respondents believe that two children is the 'ideal' number for family happiness, but the majority of respondents also have two children.
A TODAYMoms.com survey of more that 7,000 mothers found that the least stressful number of kids is four, while the most stressful number is three. Scary Mommy blogger Jill Smokler told Today that she wholeheartedly agrees.
Disadvantages of Having a Second Baby
Your children may not get the best in material things and otherwise. Your children may get undivided attention from parents. Your children have to deal with comparison of siblings. Single child is more independent, but having a second baby will cease that opportunity in them.
But many first-time parents find that after the first month of parenthood, it can actually get more difficult. This surprising truth is one reason many experts refer to a baby's first three months of life as the “fourth trimester.” If months two, three, and beyond are tougher than you expected, you're not alone.
Forget the terrible twos and prepare for the hateful eights ‒ parents have named age 8 as the most difficult age to parent, according to new research. Eight being the troublesome year likely comes as a surprise to many parents, especially since parents polled found age 6 to be easier than they expected.
A study from Princeton University and Stony Brook University found that parents and nonparents have similar levels of life satisfaction, but parents experienced both more daily joy and more daily stress than nonparents. “Life without children is simply much more stable,” Glass says.
According to a survey conducted by British parenting website Bounty, two girls are considered the best combination for parents to have a happy and harmonious family life. In their study, they surveyed 2,116 parents who had children aged 16 and under.
The Best And Hardest Ages
Forty percent of survey participants felt that five was the most fun age. This was thought to be down to improved communication skills and the development of a good sense of humour. The survey also found that parents had the least fun with the 10 to 12 year old children.
According to a new study published in the Social Indicators Research journal, we can expect to be happiest between the ages of 30 and 34. The study came to this conclusion by asking people over 50 from 13 European countries about the periods of their life in which they felt the most content.
If you're already dealing with a tantrum-prone two-year-old, I'm sorry to tell you that having a threenager is even harder.
It's no wonder then that research finds that the hardest years of parenting are the tween, (or middle school if you're in the USA) years. They may be less physically exhausting than the early years, but emotionally they are so much more exhausting.
Yet the newest pregnancy always seems to be harder than the one before it. While every pregnancy is different, it is not uncommon to find your second or subsequent pregnancy more challenging.
Happiness for people with siblings doesn't stop with the day-to-day. People with more siblings are more likely to report happiness in the workplace. It's a difference of 8 percentage points of workplace happiness from only children to people with four or more siblings.
One way to soften the transition is to carve out at least 15 minutes of one-on-one time with your older child every day. The important thing is to be consistent, so he or she knows that mama will always make time for her first baby.
Because of that long connection, she adds, siblings matter a lot for our personal growth and well-being. “Throughout the lifespan, people who have close sibling relationships have better mental health, better psychological health, and better social relationships, generally speaking.”