Narcissism refers to feelings of superiority and entitlement. High self-esteem refers to a positive, subjective evaluation of self-worth. Narcissism and high self-esteem both involve positive self-perceptions, but they also differ in important ways.
Narcissism involves arrogance, where self-esteem reflects humility. Narcissism is affronted by criticism, where self-esteem is enhanced by feedback. Narcissism makes it necessary to pull down others in order to stand above them.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), people with NPD almost always have a fragile sense of self-esteem. Because of this, they spend a lot of time thinking about how others perceive them and how well they're doing in life.
“Confidence is believing in yourself — your talents and abilities,” explains Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Hinkle, LMFT. On the other hand, “narcissism includes an exaggerated sense of self and what you're capable of, often having an expectation of admiration from others while lacking in empathy for others.”
It's long been established that there are two types of narcissists: "vulnerable" ones, who have low self-esteem and crave affirmation, and "grandiose" ones, who have a genuinely overinflated sense of self.
Mild: A mildly narcissistic person might be egotistical or boastful about their accomplishments but still function well in society.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Based on some overlapping symptoms, borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are two mental health disorders that are often mistaken for one another.
Narcissists believe that they and their needs are special and take precedence over those of others. This core is made up of arrogance, self-involvement, and entitlement. In fact, entitlement is reportedly the most toxic element in relationships.
These findings suggest that genuine narcissists are insecure and are best described by the vulnerable narcissism subtype, whereas grandiose narcissism might be better understood as a manifestation of psychopathy.
The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
Not every narcissist has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as narcissism is a spectrum. People who are at the highest end of the spectrum are those that are classified as NPD, but others, still with narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum. The cause of narcissism isn't known.
On the contrary, having good self-esteem means you have positive beliefs about your abilities and your place in the world. It can be caused by: being confident in your ability to create change and withstand challenges in your life. a sense of confidence and pride in your identity.
There are three key differences between ego and self-esteem. First, ego is all about loving oneself, while self-esteem is about self-assessment and balance. Second, those with a big ego expect favors from others, while those with high self-esteem are team players who don't need others to do things for them.
Malignant Narcissism in the Mental Health World
Although malignant narcissism is genuinely considered to be a manifestation of NPD, with experts agreeing that it is the most severe form of the personality disorder, it isn't recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5).
These results suggest that the self-esteem of vulnerable narcissists is low, and their fragile sense of self-worth is hypersensitive and labile, while grandiose narcissists have generally higher and more stable self-esteem.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
Relationships that survive will rely on the partner having good self-esteem, strong boundaries, resources that are valued by the narcissist, patience, an even-tempered personality, and a reason to stay.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are part of the same cluster, which includes disorders characterized by heightened emotions and dramatic or unpredictable behaviors.
If you take accountability, have insight, and establish reciprocal relationships, you may have some narcissistic traits but not a personality disorder. The concept of narcissism refers to a continuum where you may believe in your superiority and prioritize your needs, sometimes at the expense of others.
Understanding the condition better can help you manage your expectations and give yourself permission to prioritize your needs. While most people with NPD are not aware that they are narcissists, it's important to remember that no abuse is acceptable or excusable.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.