It is not wrong to not attend a funeral if you feel physically or emotionally unsafe doing so. However, if you don't want to attend because you think it may be too difficult to face, spend some time thinking about how you will feel knowing you didn't attend.
Provided you have given it some thought and haven't overlooked any important factor about skipping a funeral, then most people will be respectful of your wishes to not attend. But you can expect some pushback from friends and family who don't agree with your decision.
If possible, send the family a bouquet of flowers, a basket of food, or a care package. Offer to help in any way you can, or make a donation to a charity that's important to the family and the person who passed away. It's important to acknowledge your absence but still keep the focus on the family and their loss.
The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:8 that “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” It is a testimony to our family and friends that we believe our deceased loved ones are not in the casket. You shouldn't feel wrong about not wanting to attend the funeral, especially if you have a legitimate conflict.
Why 'I'm sorry for your loss' is not the best thing to say after a death. “I'm sorry for your loss” and “my condolences” are common ways to express sympathy after someone has died—but they can come off as inauthentic or remote, worsening the sense of isolation that most bereaved people feel.
At a funeral 'I'm sorry' could indicate your compassion for the person who has suffered the loss of a loved one. 'I apologise' conveys the idea that you have done some wrong that you repent.
Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure. Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.
You don't necessarily need to worry about what happens to your body if you can't afford a funeral. Signing a form at the county coroner can authorize the release of your body to the state or county for burial or cremation. It may be possible to pay a fee to recover your ashes if your family would like them.
If the deceased was important to you, then you will have a desire and need to attend their funeral. If you don't have those feelings or need to honor them by attending the funeral, then you don't have to go. It is always a personal choice to attend a funeral.
And that's perfectly normal. There are many different ways to grieve, and not all of them involve crying. Just because you don't cry doesn't mean you're not grieving or that you don't care about the person who died. Some people simply don't tend to express their emotions through tears.
In a silent funeral, there are no songs, readings or speeches. Instead, people sit or stand in silence to remember the person who died. While silent funerals are traditional in the Quaker faith, you can also have a secular funeral without readings or music.
Do we have to have a funeral? There are no laws to make you hold a ceremony to mark someone's death. But there are rules around what you do with their body. See the Australian Department of Human Services' What to do following a death website for details on what has to happen when someone dies.
However, it's never too late to honor the life of your loved one and there are many options to do so now or in the future. You can start planning at any time, either for a traditional memorial service or for smaller memorial gatherings with friends and family.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. " Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Is it rude not to respond to a condolence message? No. It is perfectly fine to receive care and not respond.
A good ending to any expression of condolences is to let them know you respect their privacy and understand if they need space. Tell them you don't expect a quick response or even a response at all. Everyone processes grief differently, and responding to condolence messages may be too much for them.
Judgmental statements. It should go without saying, but there is no world in which judging someone helps them in their grief. Comments like “You should be over it; it's been a year already,” “You look like you need to get more sleep and eat more,” or “I thought you'd be more upset” are never okay.
“I can't imagine what you must be going through.” “I wish I could make it better.” “My heart hurts for you.” “It makes me really sad to hear this happened.”
A question about the death may come across as insensitive and force that person to make excuses for their loved ones to maintain their privacy. Further, it may bring back unnecessary pain of the loss all over again. If an obituary doesn't offer the cause of death, never ask.
Cremation of a body can be done with or without clothing. Typically, if there has been a traditional funeral (with the body) present, the deceased will be cremated in whatever clothing they were wearing.
A direct cremation (a non-attended cremation without a formal funeral service) is the most affordable funeral option. The average cost of a direct cremation in Australia is $4,000, according to moneysmart.gov.au.
The body must be prepared in a mortuary registered with the NSW Ministry of Health. The Cemetery Authority has agreed to carry out the burial of a body that has not been placed in a coffin, in particular the handling of bodies on cemetery grounds. A name plate is to be placed near the body in the grave.
A crematorium attendant will say a few words before respectfully committing your loved one for cremation without any mourners present. Families who choose the simplest funeral option will often hold a celebration of life or memorial service in honour of their loved one, at a time and place away from the crematorium.