Your first year of raising twins will be tough. Expect less sleep, as your world will revolve around feeding your twins, burping them, changing them and putting them to sleep, all while constantly washing two sets of everything from clothes to feeding bottles. Financial costs are also higher with twins.
“Managing the movement of two babies. Carrying them both up and down the stairs, getting them into the car, etc.” —Simeon R. “Often having to make one baby wait!” —Catharine D. “Being outnumbered—the logistics of two on one is definitely the hardest.
“Having twins is not twice as hard—it's exponentially more difficult,” says Natalie Diaz, author of What To Do When You're Having Two and CEO of Twiniversity, a global support network for parents of twins.
Caring for twin babies is a lot of work. There are two mouths to feed, two diapers to change and two different cries to soothe. So don't be afraid to get help from friends, family or a nanny.
Some say that twins are always hard (yet amazing), while others say they truly didn't find them to be difficult. A few said that the first two months with twins are easy (being in the rose-colored glasses phase), then reality hits from months 3-6 (when the sleep deprivation catches up), then it can get easier again.
Babies who are multiples have about twice the risk of birth defects than singleton babies, including neural tube defects such as spina bifida and heart and gastrointestinal abnormalities. Cerebral palsy. Twin babies are more than four times as likely than single babies to have cerebral palsy.
Multiples are about twice as likely as singleton babies to have birth defects, including neural tube defects (such as spina bifida), cerebral palsy, congenital heart defects and birth defects that affect the digestive system. Growth problems. Multiples are usually smaller than singleton babies.
The reality is that raising multiples is hard. You have double or triple the feeding, diapering, and laundry and, as a result, less time to spend cuddling and getting to know each baby. To be sure, there will be days when you feel as if you're walking up a down escalator.
At three months:
The three-month stage marks the end of the “fourth trimester” and your twins can better adapt to life outside the womb. For one thing, they'll sleep in longer stretches of about three- to four-hour chunks.
This is called co-bedding and is perfectly safe. In fact, putting twins in the same cot can help them regulate their body temperatures and sleep cycles, and can soothe them and their twin. If you put your twins in the same cot, follow the same safe sleeping advice as for a single baby.
Identical twins reported similar levels of happiness, while fraternal twins exhibited greater variation in their reported sense of well-being. These results were found in families of twins raised together and extended with twins reared apart.
You shouldn't share the same bed with your twins because it increases the risk of SIDS. But the AAP does recommend that you room-share — having your twins sleep in your room, each in their own bassinet or crib — ideally for the first six months.
Classically, the bigger twin is the more physically dominant. It's basic human nature, and particularly applicable to boys as they hit puberty. It happens often with singleton siblings too… the older is bigger and enforces him/herself through physical dominance.
At some point as a parent of twins, you will become overwhelmed. There's a good chance life will hit you all at once, where it feels like the world is crushing you. You'll be okay – it passes, so your goal is just to get through it.
Age. People over 30, and particularly those over age 35, are more likely to conceive twins. 4 This is because the level of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) rises as birthing parents get older. FSH is responsible for the development of eggs in the ovaries before they are released.
1 Multiples who are co-bedded seem to sleep better, gain weight better, have fewer episodes of apnea and bradycardia, and (as long as they're about the same size), keep each other warm.
Just 40% of twin pregnancies go full term.
Twins are more than a one-person job, especially during the first year. If you're in the thick of things with 4-month-old twins, it is completely natural to feel like you're overwhelmed and that you and your wife can't possibly get everything done. When the twins are very young, they each need lots of care.
Smith adds: "The prevailing view is that the burden of childbearing on women is heavier when bearing twins. But we found the opposite: women who naturally bear twins in fact live longer and are actually more fertile."
It's the feeling of never being completely alone; there's always someone on your side. Being a twin doesn't feel like there is another “you.” Instead it feels like together we make one; that we complement and complete each other. We are the Yin to each other's Yang! It's having a teammate for life.
Most twins are born healthy. A twin pregnancy can mean a higher chance of health complications so you'll need extra check-ups. Twins that share a placenta or inner sac need to be checked more closely. It's good to know whether twins are fraternal or identical for health reasons later in life.
It's equally unsurprising that a Danish study found that twins are less likely to get married than non-twins. As twins have a partner from birth, the study suggests that they may not have the same desire for marriage as singletons.