It is very typical for a child who is 2 or 3 years old to start hitting or biting to express frustration or to get something they want. Toddlers have more motor control than infants, but don't yet have a lot of language to communicate what they need or want. Frustration is normal and to be expected.
Mild words like, “No, that doesn't feel good,” or, “I can't let you do that,” might be helpful. You want to give your toddler information, not a blast of reaction. If you don't react wildly (and as long as your toddler isn't witnessing hitting in their daily life), the hitting experiments will play themselves out.
If your child seems to be unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks, and you cannot cope with his behavior on your own, consult your pediatrician. Other warning signs include: Physical injury to himself or others (teeth marks, bruises, head injuries) Attacks on you or other adults.
Children tend to show natural aggression during the “terrible twos” when they want to have control over their surroundings and engage in aggressive outbursts when they can't. Tiredness and frustration are also triggers.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), these emotional outbursts are normal. That's because your little one is just beginning to learn self-control and emotional regulation. Aggressive acts are often a way of exerting independence, expressing frustration, and testing social skills.
The Bottom Line on Toddler Hitting
Your little one means well—they just need to learn better ways to express their feelings, which will happen in time. "Toddlers go through these stages for a month or two," explains Dr. Turecki. "Anything that is short-lived is usually nothing to worry about."
Testing boundaries: Toddlers are naturally curious and often test the limits to gauge your reaction. They might hit you and then laugh to see how you respond. Seeking attention: Your child may hit you to get your attention, and when they see your reaction, they might find it amusing, causing them to laugh.
A 2- or 3-year-old who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example, should be told in a calm, neutral voice why the behavior is unacceptable and taken to a designated timeout area — a kitchen chair or bottom stair — for a minute or two to calm down.
Try blocking the hit so they never make contact and then completely ignore the incident. Kids thrive on reaction and it doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. It's kind of the same concept as ignoring the kid who hits and giving all the attention to the kid who got hit.
Signs and symptoms of challenging behaviour
defiance (e.g. refusing to follow your requests) fussiness (e.g. refusal to eat certain foods or wear certain clothes) hurting other people (e.g. biting, kicking) excessive anger when the child doesn't get their own way.
They are usually hitting as a basic instinct because they lack the vocabulary to voice their will. Hence, lengthy discussions and moralizing speeches are often wasted on a toddler who is throwing a tantrum. Severe cases of hitting may require a child to be seen by a counselor.
Signs of the Terrible Twos
Says "no" much more often than before. May be clingy one minute, and then want his independence the next. Doesn't interact well with other children, and may show signs of aggressive behavior, such as pushing and shoving. Becomes frustrated easily.
Although babies initially hit as a method of exploration, if the person they've hit laughs or looks surprised, the baby might find this amusing and think its a fun game to play. Your baby isn't trying to hurt you, but play a game with you.
It is very typical for a child who is 2 or 3 years old to start hitting or biting to express frustration or to get something they want. Toddlers have more motor control than infants, but don't yet have a lot of language to communicate what they need or want. Frustration is normal and to be expected.
Hitting can range from an open-handed slap to a closed-fisted punch, and some outbursts may even injure themselves or others. Many things can trigger aggressive behaviors like hitting, scratching, and biting, but these are some of the most common in children with autism: Feeling very anxious or stressed.
Babies bite, pinch and pull hair to work out cause and effect. Toddlers often do it to express feelings. Respond to this behaviour by saying 'No', but stay calm. Try not to give attention to the behaviour.
But it's okay! You can celebrate that your child is developing into a full-fledged little person with an amazing personality all his or her own. Age three is the beginning of a whole new wave of behaviors and abilities.
At this age, they're talking more, so they can express their needs verbally. Tantrums usually last between two and 15 minutes. Violent tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes may be a sign of a more serious problem.
Frustration. Toddlers often haven't learned how to express their emotions through words. Instead, they might use a physical expression through head banging. This is one way that toddlers self-soothe following a stressful event.
Your child may be pushing your buttons, but he isn't causing your response. Any issue that makes you feel like lashing out has roots in your own early years. We know this because we lose our ability to think clearly at those moments, and we start acting like children ourselves, throwing our own tantrums.