But just because it's difficult to make friends after 30 doesn't mean it's impossible. While one 2020 study found that more than 3 in 5 Americans consider themselves lonely, citing a lack of social support and meaningful interactions as the main cause, it certainly doesn't have to be that way.
Article content. In your 30s and 40s, a small, tight-knit group is optimal. Having three to five close friends allows for paired activities (tandem biking, charades), as well as intimate group outings (movie nights, wine tastings, group discount rates).
In general, having no friends is relatively normal. A February 2021 report found that 36% of Americans felt serious loneliness and a 2019 report showed that 1 in 5 people had no friends. If you have no friends, you are not alone. However, having no friends can lead to loneliness for some people.
The reason you have no friends may be because you are shy, uncomfortable interacting with others, or simply don't go places that would lead to meeting new people. You don't have friends may have a lot to do with your mindset.
Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag. "It shows that they have not been committed to growing in relationships, which takes time and effort on both friends' part," says Harrison.
Proximity is the first to go.
As adulthood takes over, you become more focused on your career and family. You move to a different city for work or a better school district for your kids. You leave your friends behind to focus on your new priorities. Healthy social networks require attention.
People need at least a little human contact in order to thrive, and true isolation can take a toll on your overall well-being. If you're not totally isolated, though, and your lack of friends doesn't trouble you, it can be perfectly fine to be satisfied with your own company.
In general, based on 2021 survey data, the average person in America has between 3 and 5 close friends. According to this survey: almost half (49%) report having 3 or fewer close friends. over one-third (36%) report having between 4 and 9 close friends.
Soon after your mid-20s, your social circle shrinks, according to a recent study by scientists from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
When researchers interviewed adults about making friends in a recent study, the most important challenge cited was a lack of trust. That is, people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger.
In Australia alone, residents of New South Wales have an average of three best friends, falling slightly below the global average of four.
The biggest topic adults seek out their friends for is relationship advice. Overall, the average adult spends four hours a week with their friends, and 48 percent say it's strange if they go an entire day without speaking to their best friends.
When someone doesn't have friends it's almost never because their core personality is unlikable. It's usually due to a mix of interfering factors such as: They're not knowledgeable about the skills for making friends. They're too shy, socially anxious, insecure, or unconfident to pursue friendships.
Causes of loneliness include life changes that lead to social isolation, like moving to a new place, grieving a death, or the end of a relationship. In some cases, loneliness is linked with mental health conditions like depression.
Some aspects of dating in your 30s make the process harder—such as a shrinking candidate pool. You can no longer meet potential partners at school and probably aren't attending parties and social gatherings as often. These are hot spots for fresh encounters.
Making friends takes emotional, and sometimes physical, effort. As we age, making those efforts become increasingly important but may be harder to pull off. It is important to believe that new friends can always be made. People with friendships live longer, happier, and healthier lives.