That might sound like it means you're not with the right person or like your relationship is going downhill, but the truth is, having that "falling out of love" feeling is completely normal.
Working with a therapist can be helpful in assessing where both your hearts lie. Jernigan recommends discernment counseling, a type of therapy specifically designed to help couples work toward either reawakening their love or saying a loving goodbye. You can also look into couples therapy more broadly.
Lack of sexual attraction and emotional connectedness are two of the most common factors contributing to the loss of love in marriage. Falling out of love is also not as uncommon as most people think. Research says, nearly 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce.
Relationships evolve, and so do the feelings of love you have for your partner as you both grow and change. People usually fall out of love if one partner isn't willing to grow along with the other partner, relationship therapist Matt Lundquist told Insider.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
The good news is that, once you fall out of love, you can begin the satisfying work of learning how to sustain real love, which in a healthy marriage or long-term partnership, grows over time. (And yes, you can even get that crush feeling on your spouse again with time.)
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.
There can be many motives for divorce. Issues in a marriage that may arise include infidelity, disagreements over finances, lack of communication, unresolved conflict, unrealistic expectations, or lack of intimacy. Falling out of love is a common reason for divorce.
The Challenge Of Attachment
One of the reasons love can fade over time is that it's hard to keep that dopamine buzz going. "Dopamine gets us interested in each other, but it responds only to things that are new or that are possible rather than real," Dr. Lieberman says.
After all, almost 50% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8.
Even though you love your spouse deeply, you will still feel unhappy and alone sometimes. This is normal; it's not an indicator that something has gone wrong with your marriage.
Every marriage is different. However, even loveless marriages can be saved, so do not give up so easily on yours. Your current situation might seem bleak and hopeless. There are a few things you can do to take your relationship in the right direction.
There are several studies that show the link between stress and a decrease in sex drive. Resentment in a marriage is another factor that can lead to a lack of intimacy among married couples. If there are unresolved issues in your marriage, it can cause a spouse to pull away and become physically distant.
In fact, nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. This is according to a 2015 research study conducted by the American Sociological Association (ASA) which suggests two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women.
What is the average length of marriage? On average, the length of a marriage in the U.S. is seven to eight years. Some states have a higher rate than others, but the divorce rate for the country is around 50%.
However, it is not uncommon sometimes that people fall “out of love” even after they find that special someone. It is completely natural and there can be dozens of reasons why your loving feelings towards someone can change and the love diminishes even though you once felt so deeply passionate about this person.
Yes. As author Sheryl Paul has explained in her article: “If the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before. And then we fall out of love and fall back in love.”
Your Feelings Are No More
It's OK to feel apathy once in a while but if apathy has become a status quo in your relationship, then it's a sign your relationship is beyond repair. If either of your basic attachment is no more, there's no point in salvaging the relationship.
Even ifyou were the one who initiated the split, there are five stages ofgrief that you will go through. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
One of the major signs you should not break up is if it's hard to picture your life without them. There will always be ups and downs in a long-term relationship, but you know it's worth it if you see them as your future. “Thoughts of a future without your partner [will] feel empty and bleak,” explains Winter.