No matter the reason for why you haven't had a kiss, the biggest takeaway from Lefkowitz's research is that there's nothing wrong with the pace of your experience. Though it may seem everyone else is making out all the time, that may not be the case.
Philemaphobia, or philematophobia, is the fear of kissing. It is common among young and inexperienced kissers who are afraid of doing something wrong. In these cases, the anxiety is generally mild to moderate and dissipates quickly as the person gains experience.
You might be under the impression that everyone has their first kiss when they're teenagers, but in reality, many people don't experience their first kiss until they are in their 20s or even older. Being a "lip virgin" in your 20s isn't as rare as people think.
Not at all. You are not the only one - many people at that age have little to no experience with dating and romance. It may seem like everyone else has more experience, but people like yourself are more typical. Focus on getting established in life with your education and career, and figuring out who you are.
You're not alone out there
If you are 25 and have never been kissed (or 35! Or 45!), don't worry. You are not weird, and you are not doomed to be alone forever.
It might also be comforting to know that, statistically, your situation isn't wildly uncommon. “It's true that by age 19, more teens have kissed someone than haven't, but it's completely normal either way,” says Eva Lefkowitz, a Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at the University of Connecticut.
Interestingly, this is largely agreed upon across generations. No need to wait for the official first date to get a little face time, however. Americans agree kids are ready for their first kiss at age 15 (15.1 on average), while on average, they had theirs at age 14.5.
Around ages 12-15, people often start having their first kiss. Don't feel pressured by other people your age kissing people, and don't rush into kissing someone if you are apprehensive. You'll know intuitively when the time feels right.
Never having kissed anyone is unusual at your age yes, but most of us are unusual in some way, and there will certainly be plenty of 30 year olds who haven't kissed anyone in years (a long dry patch post uni etc).
Provide emotional support to help her feel better.
If your girlfriend has a lot on her mind, she might not be in the mood for kissing. This may be the case if she temporarily seems to be uninterested in kissing but is usually enthusiastic about affection. The good news is your relationship is probably doing fine!
If you want to just kiss without tongue too, it's totally fine. When you ARE using tongue, your go-to move when Frenching can be a massage between your two tongues. You can also try different things and see what feels most comfortable.
She might be prone to chapped lips, or you might have stubble that chafes. Or maybe she just doesn't like the way you kiss — excessive spit and slobber, or too much of a tight-lipped, dry technique. People can be embarrassed to talk about these things, so you will have to broach the topic if your girlfriend doesn't.
Indeed, some 650m people—or about 10% of the world—don't partake at all. Until contact with the West, for example, kissing wasn't practiced among Somalis, the Lepcha people of Sikkim or Bolivia's indigenous Sirionó.
Kissing offers many health benefits, but may also transmit a small number of disease-causing bacteria and viruses. Bacteria and viruses in the saliva or blood of one person can be spread to another person by kissing. Some diseases are more easily spread than others.
Research suggests the average person kisses 21.5 people in their lifetime and your gay friends have things to say about this very scientific fact.
It's never too late to have your first kiss, to love and be loved, or to get in “the game.” I think you already know that, or at least suspect it, but here's me saying: You're right. It always seems impossible until it happens. For now, take that pressure off yourself, and enjoy being 20.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. Every teen — or preteen — is different, though, and your child might be ready sooner or later than their peers.
A good first kiss validates the attraction between two people and confirms that sexual chemistry exists. After a good first kiss, I should know whether I want to sleep with you. Not every first kiss, though, is a great kiss. They can be awkward, especially if the moment is not right or even forced.
And yet, being in your late 20s without any romantic relationship experience can make some people wonder if it's “normal” to never have exclusively dated someone before. So… is it? The short answer, of course, is a resounding yes.
What you're feeling is entirely normal, especially when neither person has kissed anyone before. A lot of first times are boring and lackluster because you don't know how to do it right. As you two get better at it, the better it should be.