You've decided that you don't want to go out with your friends anymore because you don't think they're real friends. If you have decided that way, you have the right to that decision. As hard as it is for you to tell them, it's something you have to do.
There are many reasons why you might feel like you don't need friends. Preferring solitude, being close to members of your family, and being busy with other things are just a few factors that may play a role. Fear of being disappointed or hurt by friends can also be a contributing factor.
Don't shame yourself for not wanting to go out. There's nothing wrong with how you feel. If you're not sure if you should make an effort, remind yourself that you don't have to stay for the whole time. You can go and leave after an hour if you're not enjoying yourself.
Why do I avoid people? You might avoid people that you know because you prefer your own company, you don't know how to make small talk, or you're scared of feeling vulnerable or exposed around others. Some people are also restricted by mood disorders, shyness, or previous negative experiences.
Jessica Harrison, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Courageous Counseling and Consulting, says a lack of long-term friendships is a major red flag. "It shows that they have not been committed to growing in relationships, which takes time and effort on both friends' part," says Harrison.
Some people are naturally loners, as in they prefer to be by themselves some/most of the time. But if they're a loner because they dislike others or because others dislike them, it's likely that they're just unpleasant — and it could be a red flag.
It's okay to be less-social than other people
Others have a lower drive to socialize, which can show in a variety of ways: They like to spend a lot of time alone. They're solitary by choice, not because they want to be around people more often, but can't. They have solo hobbies they enjoy more than being with people.
Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder. A person with agoraphobia is afraid to leave environments they know and consider to be safe for fear of having anxiety or a panic attack. Agoraphobia responds well to treatment.
Benefits of going out alone
Sometimes it's easier to meet people on your own, since you don't have to spend most of your time with the friends you came with. Being solo can also gently push you to be more sociable, because if you want to talk to someone you'll need to make it happen yourself.
Agoraphobia is a rare type of anxiety disorder. If you have it, your fears keep you from getting out into the world. You avoid certain places and situations because you think you'll feel trapped and not be able to get help.
“Mental health difficulties generally arise from not getting our basic needs met in one way or another. What we find is that if we stay inside for too long then we end up not having access to some of the things we need,” she explains. If we stay inside for too long, we don't have our basic needs met.
"Bonds can be formed through a range of activities from team sports to male banter—or simply having a pint with your pals on a Friday night," Dunbar continued. "However, the key to maintaining strong friendships is to meet up twice a week and do stuff with the four people closest to you."
It's OK not to want to hang out with friends all the time. There's nothing wrong with wanting some time by yourself. However, if you never want to spend time with friends, it may be worth asking yourself if you enjoy the friendship or if there is something deeper going on like depression.
If you're craving interactions with others, spending time alone could make you unhappy. It may be best to go out and see others. However, if you've been spending a lot of time with people lately, you may benefit from a night alone. If you're not strongly craving companionship, going out may just stress you out more.
Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia involves fearing and avoiding places or situations that might cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless or embarrassed. You may fear an actual or upcoming situation.
If you don't feel like you can leave the house, you might assume you're just depressed. While not wanting to leave the house can be a symptom of depression, it's more likely you have another condition called agoraphobia, a fear of open spaces. Although agoraphobia isn't common, it's associated with anxiety.
Social anxiety disorder is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others. This fear can affect work, school, and other daily activities. It can even make it hard to make and keep friends. The good news is social anxiety disorder is treatable.
"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
Introverts tend to get exhausted from socializing. Introversion refers to a personality style defined by preferring the inner life within yourself or a few, select people instead of the outer life shared with many people. Introverts often prefer to work alone, and excess social interaction can feel draining.
No matter the reason, not being able to or not wanting to socialize with co-workers is completely acceptable. It's daunting determining how to politely turn down invitations for socializing after work, and choosing when to join in.
She explains that 'pink' flags are “flags that can sometimes seem like a red flag until you actually get to know the person and reasons behind them. It's where something can feel like a big relationship concern and worry but after communication is actually ok”.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.