It's totally normal. The decision to view or not view a loved one's body is a personal choice that you only get to make once. Unfortunately, it's a choice that you have to make quickly.
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so.
Seeing the final disposition of the body is also critically important because it brings closure to the traumatic event. Whether it be the lowering of a casket into the grave or the scattering of cremated remains it is important for everyone who had an emotional connection to the deceased to witness the final ceremony.
If you have an adult with you at the funeral home, it is ok to touch a dead body, and you will not get in trouble. You are naturally curious, and sometimes when you see and touch a dead body it helps you answer your questions. Remember to be gentle and have an adult help you.
Seeing the body before the funeral can hopefully help in the grieving process. It is a personal decision for many and there is no right or wrong choice. Furthermore, as the body is cared for by mortuary staff, it can be of great comfort to see the loved one not in pain and in their final resting state.
aCremation often gets asked if it is possible to view an unbembalmed body. In most cases – yes – if held soon after the death occurs. It's important to remember that decomposition begins immediately. The longer the time between death and the viewing, the greater the chance that viewing will not be recommended.
Why Have a Viewing? A viewing allows mourners the opportunity to share their grief, support one another, and say goodbye on a personal level. This is also considered an important event for showing your respects to the family. The viewing has had many name changes over the years.
A personal choice
At the end of the day, whether or not you view your loved one a final time is a personal decision. It should go without saying that no one should feel pressured to attend an open casket viewing, because everyone's way of grieving is different.
In some cases, it may be possible for it to take place within 24 hours. Depending upon when the examination is due to take place, you may be able to see the body before the post-mortem is carried out.
It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.
Occasionally a funeral director or family liaison officer will advise a family against viewing the body because of bodily injuries or because of decomposition. The family liaison officer, coroner's officer or funeral director may tell people what to expect.
The common misconception about cremation is that it is not possible to have a visitation, wake or more formal services. Visitations are not only allowed before a cremation; they are a popular and appropriate choice for many families.
This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
If one is considering not having a funeral it is often for one of two reasons: 1) The person who died expressly stated they didn't want a funeral. 2) Someone (or multiple people) in the family does not want to have a funeral.
When viewing the body, it is totally okay to touch the hand of your loved one or even give a kiss on the cheek. However, you should avoid attempting to hug the body. The body will feel cold to the touch. If you have children that will be attending the viewing, you should prepare them as well.
Bold patterns are not appropriate for funerals and should be avoided. Keep skirts and dresses to the knee or below and avoid bare legs in general to keep your look formal. Avoid anything sparkly, fringed or sequined – this isn't a party.
First, the body is drained of blood and preserved with gallons of ethanol and formaldehyde, which makes it feel hard to the touch.
We think this is an urban legend. We've witnessed many cremations and never heard a scream. But then again, cremation retorts aren't silent either. Now, bodies do make all kinds of gnarly noises.
A viewing is typically for friends and family to see the body of their loved one a final time to say their goodbyes. A viewing is normally held at a public place, such as the funeral home or church, where the service will be soon following.
There is no need to worry that the open casket funeral will be traumatising, the body will only be displayed if it is in good shape. If your loved one died from a traumatic accident or was badly burned, then they will not be displayed in an open casket funeral.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
If the funeral is being held in a church, be sure to dress modestly. Cover your arms or shoulders, at the very least. Black is not mandatory, but you can never go wrong wearing it. However, anything in a dark color will be just fine.
Flip-flops, tank tops, shorts, sundresses, casual tennis shoes and cleavage are not appropriate. Even though the service may be a celebration of life, many of those attending will be mourning. Your goal is to blend in, not be conspicuous.
Rigor mortis generally disappears 36 hours after death, followed by a phase known as secondary flaccidity. The late post-mortem phase is when the body tissue starts disintegrating and is primarily describable as decomposition or putrefaction, adipocere formation, mummification, or skeletonization.