You may even ask, “Is it okay to stop talking to my toxic mother?” The answer, in short, is yes. But with a parent-child relationship, complexities, attachments, and history can make cutting a parent out of your life challenging.
There are different types of parents and parenting styles, and most want the best for their kids. But some go over the boundaries and become toxic parents. Worse, they don't even know they're being toxic, maybe because their parents brought them up the same way.
Effects of Toxic Parents
Those effects can continue well into adulthood. Here are nine potential effects of toxic parents: Mental health disorders in childhood, such depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
“However, it's totally healthy and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members.” Sometimes, limiting or eliminating contact with a parent is much less damaging than having them in your life.
Some of the common signs of a toxic parent or parents include: Highly negatively reactive. Toxic parents are emotionally out of control. They tend to dramatize even minor issues and see any possible slight as a reason to become hostile, angry, verbally abusive, or destructive.
If a range of poor parenting behaviours existed, they tended to be found in the same parent, the study found. Just over 22 per cent of the mothers and 14 per cent of the fathers were classified as toxic.
It could be time to cut the person off if you or your child start to dread visiting that family member, especially if they only interact in negative ways with those around them. "Recognize that spending time apart from them is important to one's own mental health," adds Dr. Halpern.
The most common toxic behavior of parents is to criticize their child, express self-wishes, complain about the difficulties of raising a child, make unhealthy comparisons, and make hurtful statements1.
Toxic parents create a negative and toxic home environment. They use fear, guilt, and humiliation as tools to get what they want and ensure compliance from their children. They are often neglectful, emotionally unavailable, and abusive in some cases. They put their own needs before the needs of their children.
What Is A Manipulative Parent. A manipulative parent is one who uses various tactics to control, exploit, or influence their children to get what they want or serve their own needs, often at the expense of their child's well-being1.
According to experts, a major key to distinguishing the two is looking at how long the strife lasts. If things are nasty between you in many different areas of the relationship for years at a time, the relationship itself might be toxic. But if there's only one, sudden issue, that's probably more benign.
If your daughter feels unloved, she may suffer from several emotional problems. Symptoms can include depression, anxiety, self-harm, and more. These feelings are often the result of the way her parents treated her during her childhood.
The mother wound is the cultural trauma that is carried by a mother – along with any dysfunctional coping mechanisms that have been used to process that pain – and inherited by her children (with daughters generally bearing the brunt of this burden).
Detached: The parent exhibits distant, cool, and mechanical behaviors, suggesting that they're avoiding emotional connection. Problematic or disturbed: The parent lacks basic-level care and interaction. There may be signs of hostility and intrusiveness.
Impacts on Adult Daughters
If you're the daughter of a toxic mother, it's likely that you grew up feeling unsupported, unloved, and unworthy. This deep sense of inadequacy can lead to a number of problems in adulthood, including codependency, low self-esteem, and difficulty setting boundaries.
Adults who have experienced childhood trauma usually have heightened levels of anxiety. They may worry excessively and have trouble managing their anxiety. It can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, lack of interest in activities, and difficulty experiencing pleasure.
Traumatic experiences can initiate strong emotions and physical reactions that can persist long after the event. Children may feel terror, helplessness, or fear, as well as physiological reactions such as heart pounding, vomiting, or loss of bowel or bladder control.