The good news? Getting divorced in your 40s, when you're old enough to realize what you want and need from a relationship, can help you realize that your emotional (and physical) needs don't have to be met by a single person.
It is never too late to divorce, but you have to be sure that it is the right thing for you at this time of life and that you will not be losing out, especially financially, as there is less time to recover from this.
The national divorce rate for adults aged 25-39 is 24 per 1,000 persons. For adults aged between 40-49 years of age, it's 21 per 1,000 persons.
Expectations Change
And it's quite probable that your expectations of your spouse aren't the same. A common cause of divorce amongst people in their 40s is that what they want out of life, and what they want out of their spouse, has changed. But, their spouse hasn't changed.
The school-aged years are probably the worst age for divorce for children; the potential for emotional trauma from divorce is highest at age 11. Children in this age group tend to be more self-centered, meaning the breakdown of the family unit can feel like a personal attack.
The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39. Women are more likely to file for divorce than men. The highest divorce rate is for African-American women aged 50 to 59.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
Studies show that divorces are equally hard on men and significantly affect their overall health, happiness, and life. In fact, divorce has a more negative connotation for men than women. They suffer more in silence and are likely to develop feelings of resentment and hopelessness after divorce.
A “golden years divorce,” also known as a gray divorce, used to be rare. In fact, the 50+ demographic was once least likely to end their marriage.
Divorce can shake the ability of a woman to be true to herself. Women feel that their identity is lost because of their usual association as being wives and mothers. In lieu of this light, women should recognize unique gifts that set them apart and place emphasis on empowering them.
Grey Divorce is the term referring to the rising rate in older adults, typically from long-lasting marriages, getting divorced. The term was coined as research showed the phenomenon of the overall divorce rate going down while the “grey-haired” demographic's rate of late-in-life divorce was on the rise.
It's common for men to experience bouts of post-divorce depression. Everyone faces these risks, both men and women. But one Canadian study found that while that's true, men face a greater risk of depression after divorce.
There's no better time than now to find true love
It's not just that you know yourself and what works and doesn't work in relationships, it's that by the time you reach your 40s, you've probably felt “the magic of love,” as Dr. DeLuca puts it, and “if you've felt it before, you can and will feel it again.
Divorce can significantly affect a man's mental health, potentially leading to issues like depression, anxiety, and increased stress levels. It's important to seek professional help if these symptoms persist.
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%
While some may be happier after a divorce, research indicates most adults that divorce have lower levels of happiness and more psychological distress compared to married individuals.
Why you may be happier after a divorce. You do not have to make any unnecessary adjustments to keep an unhappy relationship going. You feel more empowered and independent because you're living on your own and making decisions about your own life.
The average age for newly married couples going through their first divorce in the United States is 30 years old. About 34% of all divorces initiate spouses aged 25 to 29. The percentage of people 55 to 64 years old who got divorced for the first time is about 43%.
The short-term answer is usually yes. Children thrive in predictable, secure families with two parents who love them and love each other.
Studies have shown that there is a “Goldilocks” zone, between ages 28 and 32, where marriages have the highest chance of success. After 32, the likelihood of your marriage ending in divorce increases by approximately 5% per year.
Divorce alone doesn't fit the clinical definition of a traumatic event. But it's possible that for some people, going through a divorce may lead to trauma-related symptoms. Divorce can be painful, even when you want it. It's natural and valid to feel hopeless, sad, or let down if you're going through a divorce.
Starting with a reference point of the same age couple, a couple who has a 1-year age difference has a 3% greater likelihood of divorce. If there is a 5-year age difference, the risk increases 18%. 10 year age difference yields increased risk of 39%. If there is a 20-year age difference, the risk increases 95%!
Research has suggested divorce can affect children socially, as well. Children whose family is going through divorce may have a harder time relating to others, and tend to have less social contacts. Sometimes children feel insecure and wonder if their family is the only family that has gotten divorced.