Why saying “no” less frequently matters. Saying the word “no”—along with related terms like “don't” and “shouldn't”—is a reflex we all default to, but you can limit the use of those words and still set healthy boundaries for your toddler.
You can't depend on a two-year-old to control themselves, no matter how emphatically you tell them to stop what they're doing. You still need to tell them how to behave. Instead of saying "no," clearly state what they can do instead. Two-year-olds respond much better to positive instructions than negative ones.
12 to 24 Months
Around this age, your child's communication skills are coming along, so you can start explaining basic rules (like don't pull kitty's tail) and begin using the word "no," but only in serious situations.
Saying 'no' frequently to your young children may be the opposite of your parental instincts. But according to Georgia Manning ‑ counsellor, psychotherapist and the director of Wellbeing For Kids ‑ saying 'no' to your kids is one of the best things you can do for them.
The word No often triggers tantrums and arguments in children. It is often difficult for younger children to accept the word no. Older individuals with developmental or emotional disabilities may also have difficulty accepting the word no. The word no often leads to temper tantrums, arguing, and/or pleading.
Ignoring is usually most effective for behaviors like whining, crying when nothing is physically wrong or hurting, and tantrums. These misbehaviors are often done for attention. If parents, friends, family, or other caregivers consistently ignore these behaviors, they will eventually stop.
Research. There is a bunch of research that is done on the effects of parenting and disciplining on kids of every age, but let me just save you the trouble, and let you know that NO. You are most likely not scarring your child for life when you yell at them or lose your cool every once in a while.
As early as age 2 or 3, children can already know or feel the difference between right and wrong. How does this happen and what's our role as parents when it comes to helping them understand fairness, justice and good behaviour? First, it's important to understand the heavy influence of the environment.
Be careful with the word “no.”
Babies begin to understand what “no” means between 6 and 18 months and may even begin to tell themselves “no-no.” While you might be quick to yell “no” if they're pulling on your necklace or opening drawers, constantly telling them “no” can make them think that everything is off limits.
Permissive Parenting (Indulgent)
Permissive parenting sets very few parental rules and boundaries. If there are rules, these passive parents are reluctant to enforce them. What is this? Indulgent parents are warm and indulgent but do not like to say no or disappoint their children.
Romper asked child psychologist Maureen Healy, author of Growing Happy Kids, who says that toddlers laugh when being disciplined typically because they are nervous. "They have big feelings and are unsure of how to release them," she says.
Give children some control and choice over what to eat, wear or play with. Use distractions and diversions for as long as they work – a new toy, a changed activity, a song or game. As children reach pre-school age, discuss how you want them to behave in different situations and have clear, simple rules.
Tantrums happen most frequently between ages 1 and 4, averaging up to one a day. They typically decrease when a child starts school. At this age, they're talking more, so they can express their needs verbally. Tantrums usually last between two and 15 minutes.
Challenging behaviour is sometimes due to your child not having the social and emotional skills they need to behave the way you would like them to. Often when a child misbehaves, it is a response to feeling anxious, angry or overwhelmed and they are struggling with processing these feelings.
It is developmentally normal for toddlers to hit. It is the parent's job to supervise and handle toddlers kindly and firmly until they are ready to learn more effective ways to communicate. Kids will grow out of it if they get help (skills training) instead of a model of violence (hitting back).
What are the terrible twos? The terrible twos is a phase that starts around age 2 (give or take) and is characterized by frequent temper tantrums, rapid mood changes and other sometimes-difficult impulsive behaviors.
The thing to do is to gently, calmly move their arm away from the person they are hitting, so they can't hit again. You can let them try. Just keep their arm from landing on you or anyone else. Mild words like, “No, that doesn't feel good,” or, “I can't let you do that,” might be helpful.
We're depleted Over time, mothers become physically, emotionally and mentally drained of nutrients, strength and vitality. Psychologist Rick Hanson coined the phrase “depleted mother syndrome” and emphasizes how important it is to regain the strength we need to be there for ourselves and to manage our care-giving role.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
Children who are exposed to this type of conflict will often become anxious, distressed, sad, angry, and depressed. These feelings result in sleep disturbances, poor performance at school, and difficulty focusing. In the longer term, these kids may become unable to manage conflict and form healthy adult relationships.