Ask permission. "May I give you a hug?" That question indicates both affection and respect and will likely be appreciated. The only down side to this is that many people will feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying no. So if you're getting a negative or uncertain vibe, you're better off not even asking the question.
If you're unsure of whether a hug is welcome, just ask. You don't have to make it weird—a simple, “Can I give you a hug?” will do. Sometimes a hug can change someone's day, and it only takes seconds. Hug your loved ones and friends more.
If you're friends or friendly, on good terms and have an informal relationship with her, yes you can. She'll probably like being asked, it's kind of like asking do you want to be my friend? Just don't be needy or pushy about it… You might creep her out.
Friends can have any type of hug as long as you first ask. Sometimes, all you need to do is to give them a little hint, and it will be alright.
Women usually initiate hugging with men and are often expected to dictate the type of hug that will take place, as well as the duration of the hug. Women also typically desire more hugs, as well as other forms of affection, than men. There are even studies that women's heart health may benefit more from hugs than men.
It's OK to Not Hug. The Girl Scouts recently reminded people not to force hugs on little girls… but no one should be forced to show affection, regardless of their age and gender.
“I need a hug.” Arms uplifted and open. To me that gives the other person more of an opportunity to adjust and respond. If I just go for it, I might catch them unawares, at a bad moment or may move too quickly.
Ask for a hug point-blank.
In the best-case scenario, your crush is interested and you can go in for that long-awaited hug without any mixed signals.
Open your arms to signal that you want to hug.
Step toward him or her to make the invitation more clear. Look your hugging partner in the eyes, and watch her face to make sure that she is open to being hugged. If the person steps forward to meet your embrace, then he or she has accepted the hug.
They may like you, and want to hug you. They may be having a bad day, and you are the closest person to them in the vicinity.
Hugging Friends
Use your instincts, but the best rule of thumb is that if you're offered a hug, go for it. If you want to initiate a hug, don't think too much about it, but pull back if your friend steps back.
People who are natural huggers and/or who feel friendly toward you will often prefer to greet you with a hug instead of a handshake. When someone wants to hug, they will approach you with their arms open and their torso facing you in preparation for the embrace.
Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).
For example, you could say, “I'd really love to cuddle you. I think that it would be really nice to try connecting with you in that way. I know some people might assume that cuddling leads to sex, so just to be clear about this, I'm only offering to cuddle — nothing sexual, okay?
A friendly hug brings your torso close to that of the other person. A flirty hug does that, but it also brings something else closer - usually your necks or your hips. It stimulates certain instinctive responses. In a subtle, biological way, it is an invitation to mate.
A tight bear hug or a hug with back pats is usually friendly and platonic. If their arms are around your waist or they're hugging you from behind, the hug is romantic. A quick distant hug or a sideways hug is mostly just polite and impersonal.
State your wishes. Be honest with her about what you want from the relationship. Tell her that you would like it if there was more kissing and hugging in your relationship. But also make it clear that you respect her and value her feelings, so you don't pressure her into doing something that makes her uncomfortable.
If you know the person you want a hug from, just approach them, and do what a small child would do - hold your arms wide open, and smile. Otherwise, make a “Free Hugs” or “Please Hug Me” sign and go to a mall or park or place with lots of people, like an airport.
Past experiences with negative touch affect attitudes.
If a person has been a victim of abuse or trauma during their lives, they may be especially fearful of social touch or hugs. They may be fearful that a “friendly hug” may be a warning sign that “more” is expected later.
Your stress levels can go up
There are countless reasons to feel stressed right now, but social isolation definitely isn't helping. When you go without your usual interactions—like hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc. —your brain also starts to release more of the stress hormone, which is called cortisol, Dr. Jackson says.
Not experiencing physical affection while growing up can lead to an underdeveloped oxytocin system, which leads to individuals not learning to appreciate cuddles, Darcia Narvaez, a professor of psychology at University of Notre Dame, explained to Time. Social anxiety, can also play a role in people being hug-avoidant.