It's rude to tell anyone that you don't know closely and I mean VERY closely to lose weight. Someones personal health and fitness is almost never any of your business and you shouldn't concern yourself over it. The exceptions would be your family or people you consider family.
Don't Say, 'You Should Go on a Diet'
Avoid accusatory words like “you need to” or “you should,” advises Surampudi. This can come off as critical and may make your loved one feel judged. Offering simplistic advice like “Why don't you eat less and exercise more?” is also just plain unhelpful, says Goodpaster.
Especially if someone has lost weight in a way that is noticeable, it might feel like something to congratulate them on. However, even if you are intending it as a compliment, making a comment on someone's weight loss is actually rude. Here's my take as a dietitian on the reasons why you should avoid these comments.
Ultimately, we don't have the right to tell our partners to lose weight. We can, however, communicate our motive behind wanting them to lose weight if it will benefit their health, but ultimately we have to respect their decision on if they actively want to lose weight, or not.
Focus on her overall health
For instance, talk about how exercise, sleep, and nutrition can lead to better overall health and naturally help drive weight loss. Instead of fixating on the short-term, teaching her how to live a healthier lifestyle can help her make smarter choices in the long-run.
This is especially important when talking to people with eating disorders or serious body image issues, since such remarks can worsen their situation. Compliments about someone's weight loss or thinner body perpetuate society's deep-seated diet culture, Tran said, and the idea that thinness is inherently good.
"Wanting your partner to change their lifestyle is very legitimate if it's based on a concern for your partner's physical and emotional well being," he continued. "No one wants to watch the person they love self destruct or fall into self-defeating patterns.
Telling you to lose weight doesn't have to be an automatic deal breaker, but it can certainly be a red flag, depending on the intent. For example, if you're actually experiencing health complications due to your weight, your partner could just be looking out for your well-being.
Weight-based comments can be highly triggering for people.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness and affect at least 9% of the population worldwide. It's also extremely important to note that you cannot tell who has an eating disorder based on physical appearance.
Use plenty of “I think” and “we should” language instead of “you…” This will keep her from feeling like she's being put under a microscope or unfairly criticized. For example, instead of saying, “You're overweight,” you might say “We're not as healthy as we used to be,” or, “I think we could eat better.”
Regardless of if they are being nice or rude always respond positively. if You actually lost weight or feel lighter “I have actually, thank you for noticing.” Then follow it up with what you've done as most people usually are curious.
“It's wonderful that you're focusing on your health.” Shift the focus away from weight. Instead, compliment their efforts towards better health and wellness. This shows that you see the bigger picture and you want to support them as they create a healthier lifestyle.
Focus on health (not weight)
It's tempting to say “don't worry, you'll lose the weight”. Instead, the best thing you can do is bring the conversation back to how eating healthily and exercise makes her feel, not look.
"In some ways, your weight loss becomes a symbol of their inability to accomplish their goals, so they may begin to act resentful -- or even mean -- oftentimes without even realizing they are doing so," says Christian Holle, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at William Patterson University in Wayne, N.J.
And most kids will report some body image concerns before they leave grade-school. Talking to a child with judgement about weight is known to contribute to negative thoughts about one's body. Weight talk can lead children to develop a negative self-image.
Weight and body comments do more harm than good
They think by commenting on your weight or body or food – they are helping. But they are not. Perhaps you can relate? Research shows that teenagers whose parents comment on their weight are 66% more likely to be overweight or obese as adults.
For instance, studies have shown that children subjected to weight-based teasing gain more weight than other children. And even less overtly cruel tactics, like advising your child to lose weight or encouraging your child to go on a diet, can often backfire, causing lasting physical and psychological harm.
Puberty – Increased hormones in a child's body during puberty (between the ages of 10 and 14 for girls and between the ages of 12 and 16 for boys) leads to growth and possible expansion of “baby fat” areas. This typically takes place in girls' belly, breast area and hips.
'People feel entitled to their opinion about others' weight due to the societal overload of weight expectations and the associated moral value of being thin. This means people feel like they can say something when it's outside the 'norm' because they feel safe in the knowledge that society will agree with them.