Being in a relationship with someone with a fearful-avoidant attachment style can have negative consequences, such as emotional instability, an unpredictable push-pull dynamic, and difficulties in establishing consistent intimacy and trust.
"Over time, they can re-pattern their attachment and heal those wounds if they can find a partner who is willing to put in the work and help them," says Jordan. Ultimately, the key to building a long-lasting, healthy relationship with a fearful avoidant person is honesty, patience, and trust.
And can partners with such drastic attachment styles really work? The short answer is yes. But the secret of how these couples maintain is a bit more complex. Anxious and avoidant relationships can thrive if each party is willing to accommodate the other's emotional needs.
The answer is yes; fearful-avoidants have the capacity to love, just like anyone else. However, their attachment style may influence the way they express and experience love in their relationships. The challenge that fearful-avoidants face isn't falling in love, but remaining in love.
A relationship with an avoidant person is thus always at risk of devolving into a vicious cycle of mutual rejection, and is only likely to last if the partner is either anxious and obsessed, or if the partner is more secure, the avoidant is more self-aware, and there is constant, level-headed communication about the ...
Individuals with a fearful avoidant attachment style hold a negative model of self and also a negative model of others, fearing both intimacy and autonomy. They may be socially withdrawn and untrusting of others. Therefore, it can be challenging to be the partner of someone who has this attachment style.
They're scared
And if they feel that the relationship is going too fast, or getting too intimate, that might trigger what's called an avoidant attachment response – in other words, they cheat as a form of escape.
Because people with an avoidant attachment style fear not being lovable or good enough, feeling criticized or judged by loved ones can be particularly painful. Especially when it comes to things that they are not so comfortable with, such as their emotions and feelings.
They may initially run towards their caregiver but then seem to change their mind and either run away or act out. A child with a fearful avoidant attachment often desires comfort and closeness with their caregiver, but once close, they act fearful and untrusting.
Fearful-avoidant attachment is often considered the worst in terms of potential negative outcomes. For example, multiple studies have shown that there is an association between fearful-avoidant attachment and depression.
The hallmark of having been raised by left hemisphere parents is avoidant attachment, which often manifests as a deep, lifelong loneliness, a tendency to push others away and a struggle to find life's meaning.
They are ready for intimacy.
Avoidants fear intimacy. Exposing their bodies and souls to criticism and rejection is a constant fear. So if your love-avoidant partner has indicated that they want a more intimate relationship, understand this is the ultimate sign that they love you.
Fearful avoidants both want and fear intimacy. So they seek closeness. But once they do, their fear of intimacy and attachment kicks in and they suddenly feel the need to escape, and this is when they need you to chase them.
A fearful avoidant during no contact acts slightly differently from other attachment styles. Going no contact with them can become extremely distracting and often requires a lot of discipline. The fearful-avoidant does not express remorse or sadness over heartbreak in the initial weeks of the breakup.
Some researchers believe that there may be a link between fearful avoidant attachment and trauma. Traumatic experiences can cause people to become distrustful of others and to believe that they are not worth trusting. This can lead to a fearful avoidant attachment style.
The avoidant personality -male or female - is an expert at being peaceful and looking very calm and together. If their partner is not sensitive to the lack of personal sharing in the relationship, then it is quite possible for an avoidant person to end up married and with children.
Symptoms. A person with a fearful avoidant attachment style may crave closeness and reassurance from their partner, fearing that they will abandon them. In another instance, they may begin to feel trapped or afraid of how close they are with their partner and attempt to distance themselves.
Sadly, this attachment style is often seen in children that have experienced trauma or abuse. The fearful avoidant attachment style occurs in about 7% of the population and typically develops in the first 18 months of life.
On the other hand, the researchers found people with avoidant or anxious attachment styles tended to include fewer elements of a good apology or were less consistent in how they apologized. A good apology, however, requires a level of emotional investment that people with an avoidant attachment style find challenging.
They'll get a little fearful of trying to build something further with you, especially if you're feeling like you're just as emotionally in turmoil as they are. What I've seen in the past is the fearful avoidant most likely will reach out to you first and before the month mark.
In fact, if either partner was anxiously attached, the couple had higher odds of one of them being unfaithful. Those with a partner who had an avoidant attachment style actually had the lowest rates of infidelity.
Simply put: an ex with an anxious attachment and fearful avoidants test you to see if you're still interested in them, still have feelings, miss them or want them back them, a dismissive avoidant ex tests you to see if they're still interested in you, still have feelings for you, miss you or want you back.