Is it worth telling a narcissist how you feel?

Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”

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Does a narcissist care if they hurt your feelings?

They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.

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What should you not tell a narcissist?

“You're so selfish,” is the first thing that you shouldn't say to a narcissist. Directly accusing the narcissist in your life of being selfish will most likely make them defensive and angry. This will only lead the interaction that you are having with them towards further conflict rather than resolution.

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What is the #1 word a narcissist Cannot stand?

It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".

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What is the narcissist weak spot?

A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.

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Trying to get a narcissist to understand how you feel. Understand narcissists see you as the problem

25 related questions found

What is the greatest fear of a narcissist?

Narcissists' Greatest Fear

Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.

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What happens when you tell a narcissist how they make you feel?

Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”

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Can you talk to a narcissist about your feelings?

In effect, talking to a narcissist is a one-sided experience. Only when their long-winded speaking begins to reach a close can you respond effectively, if at all. Do not ever expect the narcissist to empathize with your feelings in such a situation.

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Can you share your feelings with a narcissist?

This is helpful and healing in many situations, but true narcissists don't care how you feel. If you discuss your feelings with them, it will be unlikely to help your rage, your helplessness, or your disgust. Worse, your sharing might backfire.

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What words destroy narcissists?

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  • 1. “ ...
  • “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  • “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  • “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  • “Everything Is Okay” ...
  • “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  • “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  • “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”

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What are the four words you should never say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."

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What turns a narcissist off?

Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.

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What angers a narcissist the most?

What Triggers Narcissistic Rage?
  • Their Self-Esteem or Image Has Been Harmed. ...
  • They Do Not Get Their Way. ...
  • They Are Criticized. ...
  • They Are No Longer the Center of Attention. ...
  • They Are Exposed for Their Behaviors. ...
  • They Are Asked to Be Accountable for Their Actions. ...
  • They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict.

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Does a narcissist ever regret losing you?

It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.

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What does a narcissist do when you hurt their feelings?

Narcissists often react to an emotional wound with rage outbursts, passive-aggression, or denial to protect themselves from future harm. Common signs of narcissistic injury include projection, gaslighting, and manipulation.

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Why don t narcissists care about your feelings?

It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.

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How does a narcissist treat a woman?

They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.

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How does a narcissist want you to feel?

The narcissist wants you to feel unsteady and unsafe. This means emotionally unsafe and can include physically or sexually unsafe as well. This gives him more control over you and makes him feel powerful.

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Do narcissists know they are mentally ill?

People with narcissistic personality disorder tend not to perceive that they themselves may have a mental health problem, and thus may be less likely to seek evaluation or treatment.

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When the narcissist realizes you don t care anymore?

But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.

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How do you make a narcissist understand you?

Although it may be challenging at times, consider keeping these tips in mind the next time you speak with them:
  1. stay calm and respectful.
  2. share how they make you feel with “I” statements.
  3. stand up for yourself and your position.
  4. maintain boundaries, but try to be empathetic.
  5. rely on a support system.

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What hurts a narcissist more than anything?

The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.

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How do you make a narcissistic panic?

17 Ways to Make a Narcissist Really Afraid of You
  1. Don't give them your attention. These attention-seekers will do anything to be noticed. ...
  2. Starve them of empathy. ...
  3. Show strength and confidence. ...
  4. Ignore them. ...
  5. Set and enforce boundaries. ...
  6. Say no. ...
  7. Challenge them. ...
  8. Hold them accountable.

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Are narcissists afraid of losing you?

Interestingly, the narcissist doesn't just fear to lose you because you make their world go round. They fear to lose you because you also make their world look good.

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