If you live with complex trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trauma dumping or oversharing could be a natural trauma response and coping mechanism.
Oversharing can all too often be a smokescreen for a serious psychological issue, including things like anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. And the first hint can be whether you can control your blather or not.
A common reason for oversharing is the desire to build depth and emotional intimacy before the relationship is ready. This can often be connected to stress or a fear of not being liked by the person. First dates, new coworkers, or mutual friends often elicit this oversharing.
For some people, sharing the intimate details of their lives can be empowering and freeing. But for many others, oversharing is a coping mechanism for anxiety, stress, and untreated trauma. In some cases, oversharing may be a cry for help from someone struggling to cope with their mental health.
Remember: Over-explaining is a trauma response designed to avoid conflict. “The logic behind fawning is that if a person does anything and everything they can to please the person who is trying to hurt them, that person might not follow through with the abusive behavior,” says Fenkel.
There are actually 5 of these common responses, including 'freeze', 'flop' and 'friend', as well as 'fight' or 'flight'. The freeze, flop, friend, fight or flight reactions are immediate, automatic and instinctive responses to fear. Understanding them a little might help you make sense of your experiences and feelings.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
Oversharing doesn't create intimacy. Oversharing is self-absorption masked as vulnerability. This may also signal emotional neediness and/or lack of boundaries.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing.
That said, gaslighters do have some common characteristics and there are some behaviors you can look out for: Lack of boundaries (oversharing information about themselves or others) Making excuses, blaming others for their issues. Reacting explosively to feedback or (real or imagined) threats.
It's common for people with ADHD to overshare information. People may be impulsive and not stop to think about what they're saying.
If you're regretful afterward, you may be telling too much, possibly because you crave deeper relationships. The trouble is, oversharing can cause others to clam up. I'd suggest that you take stock of your friends to get a sense of who you can count on and who you can't.
If a person is a narcissist, or they feel inadequate, they often end up sharing everything that comes to mind to make sure they are heard. The insecurity of feeling ignored or too much self-validation overpowers their ability to decide what to share or not.
Being careless with your privacy can open you and your family up to everything, from cyberbullying and theft to extortion and kidnap. Criminals can use social media geo-tagging, landmarks and research into your typical behaviour or schedule.
Oversharing. It can be hard to process and filter the constant thoughts, heightened feelings, and energy levels of a manic episode. This can sometimes result in feeling unable to stop oneself from sharing random or inappropriate compulsive thoughts, even in serious situations.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
Experts say oversharing often happens when we are trying subconsciously to control our own anxiety. This effort is known as "self regulation" and here is how it works: When having a conversation, we can use up a lot of mental energy trying to manage the other person's impression of us.
Oversharing is a common struggle among people who lack personal boundaries. It's not a conscious decision, but it often leaves us feeling icky and depleted. Oversharing usually comes from a desire to connect.
Overshare. One sure way to recognize an insecure person on social media is that they overshare. They go to painstaking measures to share details that no one would have ever asked for. More often than not, it's because they feel that they have something to prove.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
Venting is a healthy way to share negative emotions and reduce stress. But with trauma dumping, you overshare in a way that makes the listener feel overwhelmed or ignored.
What is Toxic Venting? Toxic venting feels like an attack on someone's character. Whether you are the one venting, or you're listening to someone else do it, this communication makes the other person out to be “the bad guy.” This type of bad-mouthing becomes an intense form of gossip.