Dealing with heartbreak is hard, and it can make falling in love for the second time feel much scarier than it was the first time around. Fortunately, though, your second love is often healthier, and you're likely happier having learned valuable lessons from your first romantic experience.
There is nothing wrong with a second-best, secondhand, or last love. Each of these loving relationships can be of great value. Thus, while a first love is unforgettable, a last love typically continues longer.
The bottom line is that love the second time around can be fantastic! Despite any hardships or obstacles, your maturity and life lessons will have made you into a better partner – a partner that can go out and find a better match for a lifetime of happiness, rather than just a season!
First love is spontaneous, mostly irrational and unexpected. And second love is calculated, rational and expected. Experience changes a lot of things in life, one of them is how you'd love someone in future.
Falling In Love the 2nd Time: The Hard Love
The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.
This is backed up by Marissa Harrison, a psychologist from Pennsylvania State University who thinks that women are much more cautious when it comes to love, while men tend to fall in love harder and faster. Studies show that a man's requirements to fall in love are significantly less stringent than those of a woman.
A study has shown that a person can fall in love at least three times in their lifetime. However, each one of these relationships can happen in a different light from the one before and each one serves as a different purpose.
"The second time around is just as beautiful (if not more so), but it certainly comes tinged with vulnerability and even some fear." Falling in love with someone new can feel more real, because in some ways, there is more at stake than with your first love. "You're more vulnerable this time around.
Scott Fitzgerald said, “There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.” Simply put, relationships come in many different forms, and you will never have the same love with one partner as you have with the next. Take a second to think back on your past relationships.
Being in love with two people may be more common than some think. Studies show that many individuals worldwide identify as polyamorous, meaning they partake in a romantic relationship with or feel attracted to more than one individual at a time.
There are so many cases of meeting an ex after a long gap and falling in love all over again. Whether it's your long-time partner or someone who wasn't a part of your life for a while – the bottomline is we can rediscover love with the same person more than once.
Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive.
It refers to the idea that when guys see a woman they fancy, they have three seconds to approach her, make eye contact, or strike up a conversation before she loses interest - or he bottles it.
No matter how old they were when they reunited and no matter how many romances they had had during their lives, 62% of the participants reported that they chose to reunite with their first loves.
Although love can feel powerful, exciting, and meaningful, it may fade in some relationships, even if your partner is still your best friend. As love might simultaneously be an emotion, a choice, and a stage of a relationship, knowing when you no longer love your partner anymore can feel confusing.
Second love teaches you how to love again after you've been broken. It teaches you that love still exists, that you're capable of loving again and loving harder. That you can still have faith in love no matter how much pain your first love caused you. Second love is there to pick up the pieces.
Is it possible to stay in love for the long-haul or fall back in love after falling out of it? You may be surprised that the overwhelming answer for many in the scientific community is YES. Real, lasting love is possible.
“Rebound relationships typically last between one month and a year, and commonly struggle to last past the initial infatuation period. They are often not based on deep compatibility, so differences can start to strain the connection,” says Stein.
You can have more than one soulmate.
"You will meet many soulmates in your current lifetime," says Brown. "You only have one twin flame." Whenever you meet someone with whom you have a strong connection, the theory suggests that there's a high chance that they could be a part of your wider soul family.
When in love, neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin flood our brains in areas associated with pleasure and rewards, producing physical and psychological responses like less perceived pain, an addictive dependence, and a stronger desire for sex with your partner.
True love is rare; we can only hope to find it once in a lifetime, and maybe not even then. The curve that charts love is very narrow—more like a steeple than a bell. It's called a Poisson curve, and its classic example was the chance of being kicked to death by a horse while serving in the Prussian cavalry.
Passionate love feels like instant attraction with a bit of nervousness. It's the "feeling of butterflies in your stomach,"Lewandowski says. "It's an intense feeling of joy, that can also feel a bit unsure because it feels so strong."