When you're a shy introvert, people mistake your shyness for rudeness. The truth is you're just thinking (and overthinking) what to say. Many people confuse introversion with shyness and think all introverts are shy. But that's not the case.
Shyness so easily comes across as rudeness.
Dislike. It can look like a personal affront to the other person — like you don't want to be talking to them, even though you do. The harder you try to trample it, the tenser and quieter you become.
Is shyness necessarily a bad thing? Chloe Foster, a clinical psychologist at the Centre for Anxiety Disorders and Trauma in London, says shyness in itself is quite common and normal and doesn't cause problems unless it develops into more of a social anxiety.
Shy people are often altruistic – they help others. In fact, you often think far too hard about people's reactions when figuring out how you should behave and what you are going to say. You are sensitive to what others are feeling, and this is beneficial when dealing with others with kindness and consideration.
Shyness is usually associated with being quiet, insecure, and/or socially anxious. Being shy is not necessarily bad. We can all feel shy from time to time, so it's alright to feel a little uncomfortable in new situations and with new people.
Shy people don't think they're more important than others
But it is a trait that most of us find very likable and attractive in others. In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner.
No correlation (positive or negative) exists between intelligence and shyness. Research indicates that shy children have a harder time expressing their knowledge in social situations (which most modern curricula utilize), and because they do not engage actively in discussions teachers view them as less intelligent.
What Causes Shyness? Shyness emerges from a few key characteristics: self-consciousness, negative self-preoccupation, low self-esteem and fear of judgment and rejection. Shy people often make unrealistic social comparisons, pitting themselves against the most vibrant or outgoing individuals.
Characteristics Men Like In Shy Women
Some men find shy women appealing and feminine. Shy women may appear to have innocent charm. Some men enjoy the concentrated attention of shy women. Many men like a woman who is shy everywhere but in the bedroom.
In reality, guys don't dislike shy girls at all. They find them mysterious and totally appealing. In fact, many guys actually dislike dating girls who can't stop talking. Being shy is an advantage.
Shy girls tend to show their love through actions rather than words. Hence, if you see her offering help more often, it might be a sign that she likes you. If you are having a bad day and she is extra careful around you to help you escape that unfavorable phase, she may like you.
You can tell that a shy guy likes you if he gets extremely nervous around you. He may suddenly start behaving awkwardly or clumsily. This kind of nervousness comes from wanting to appear cool and do things right in front of you, but failing miserably at it.
When you hear the word introvert, you might think of someone who's shy or quiet and prefers to be alone. While that may be true for some introverts, there's much more to this personality type. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert all depends on how you process the world around you.
If you are nervous, you might frown, look worried or look away. If you are wary or uneasy, you might look guarded, defensive or cross your arms. If you feel shy or unsure, you might cover your mouth or face with your hand or look at the ground.
Shy people showed a lower self-esteem and self-presentation, and displayed higher self-deprecation. Moreover, individuals with higher levels of self-esteem revealed a higher self-presentation and lower self-deprecation.
In many cases, social awkwardness comes from extreme anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives.
Quiet people are more likely to be introverts than extroverts and tend to be more creative and sensitive than the average person. They also tend to be private people who don't like being in large crowds or socializing much at all unless it's necessary for work or school.
Women report themselves to be higher in neuroticism, agreeableness and more shy and anxious, whereas men report themselves to be higher in assertiveness (Costa et al., 2001). It is postulated that gender creates a huge amount of difference between male and female.
Lots of shy people have friends, so it can be done. I'll share some general strategies below. I'll focus on making real-life friends, rather than forming online connections, where you may talk to over text, but never meet up. There's nothing wrong with those relationships, but that won't be covered here.
For example, if you tend to keep quiet at work meetings, challenge yourself to never again leave a meeting without saying something. Just remember the three key principles; discipline, preparation and courage. Shy people can overcome the fear and be confident. You can too.
People who are shy often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations. Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality.
Shy guys don't all share the same preferences, and the fact that they are shy doesn't tell you anything about what they find attractive in others. Different shy guys I've known have been attracted to quiet (shy or not) girls, to sporty girls, and to hyper-feminine girls.