The classic signs of love bombing include giving elaborate gifts, excessive texting and calling, lavishing a partner with compliments, affection, and professing strong feelings early on.
Not all grand displays of love are love bombing. When it's a genuine connection, you'll likely feel more positive and receptive to the grand gestures, whereas love bombing is intense and makes you feel uncomfortable — which isn't a sign of a healthy relationship.
"Most love bombers are doing it unintentionally, or are at least in denial or rationalizing their behavior," Huynh said. Either way, she added, it often serves a self-centered purpose. It's hard to know how you really feel about this person so soon in a relationship.
To put it simply, you can think of love bombing as clingy behavior taken to the next level. "Love bombing is a tactic of flooding a new partner with an overabundance of attention, compliments, and often false promises," says Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of upcoming book Date Smart.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
Because it's so intense and all-consuming, love bombing is exhausting and the “bomber” can only sustain it for about six to 12 weeks, Durvasula says. After that initial period, the gifts, compliments, and trips will dry up quickly.
One of the cruelest realities is that an unhealthy relationship often starts out feeling like the most wonderful romance of your entire life. In some cases, that's thanks to love bombing: a pattern of manipulative, often subtle behaviors your partner performs as acts of love.
At the core of a typical love bomber is hidden crippling low self-esteem. Some form of childhood trauma, emotional neglect or emotional abuse from previous partners has caused them to develop no internal sense of worth or self-esteem.
Love bombing can last weeks to years, but anecdotal data suggests the most active phase lasts 3 to 32 weeks. An un-cited study claims that both grandiose and covert narcissists reported love bombing for 25 weeks.
“Some common traits of love bombing include providing excessive amounts of attention, admiration, and affection,” explains Alexander Burgemeester, a clinical psychologist and author from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. “The aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.”
A sure sign that a relationship is moving too quickly is if you have trouble making decisions without your partner early on. It's not uncommon for people to lose themselves in their relationship, and over time couples find themselves dressing, speaking and even acting in a similar manner.
A love bomb refers to when a narcissistic person “bombs” you with an over-the-top amount of affection, flattery, gifts, and praise early in the relationship in order to win over your attention for the purpose of being able to control you.
The main difference between love bombing and a genuine relationship is that love bombing is usually motivated by self-interest rather than genuine feelings of love and affection. The person may be trying to take advantage of you emotionally, financially, or sexually.
“There is no absolute rule,” says Dr. Lauren Kerwin, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “[Falling in love] can happen instantaneously or take weeks, months, or years!
"Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship," Greg Kushnick, PsyD, a psychologist based in New York City, told Health. It's generally something narcissists do, added Dr.
Do only narcissists love bomb? Many people who love bomb have narcissistic personality disorder, but that is not always the case. Attachment style and other factors can also play a role.
Your self-esteem is low
Narcissists are drawn to those who have self-esteem problems, such as those who have experienced abuse, trauma, or identity issues. Narcissists frequently start a relationship by love bombing you, giving the impression that they are coming to your aid and are prepared to hoist you up.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Caution: if someone is moving too fast, it's one of the clearest relationship red flags. This is an indication that they are either desperate or that they want to catch you before you discover some deep, dark secret.
If you know they're seeing other people and you'd like them to stop, knowing when to ask to be exclusive can be more complicated. While there are no firm rules, experts suggest waiting at least three months after you start dating someone.
Yes. Love bombing is most often discussed in the context of romantic relationships; however, it is also possible for someone to engage in similar behaviors when meeting a new platonic friend.