Behaviors associated with the silent treatment The act of ostracism—or being ignored or excluded from the group—has been used throughout history to motivate society to obey social norms and change behaviors. "The silent treatment is a learned behavior," said Nadine Macaluso, Ph.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Reasons behind silent treatment
Lack of communication skills: Some people feel they lack the skills to express themselves. Punishment: Silent treatment becomes abuse when it is intended to punish, control, or gain power over someone. To make the other person feel bad. To not appear abusive to others.
Neither provides a good foundation for handling conflict in a healthy relationship. The bottom line is the silent treatment is not a healthy coping technique for you or your partner.
Silent treatment can be an immature way of dealing with situations and its practice should not be made a habit of. Imagine you have upset your loved one for some reason and they are angry with you.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
Some of the effects of the silent treatment in relationships are: Broken trust: The pain of rejection that's experienced can damage and even destroy the emotional trust between you and your partner. A person experiencing the silent treatment may think, “I don't trust that they won't hurt me.
Being ignored stimulates the part of the brain that detects physical pain, so silent treatment is very emotionally and physically painful. It can lead to negative emotions, like distress and anger. In addition, people who are often ignored tend to have lower self-esteem and feel that their lives have less meaning.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The silent treatment is strikingly similar to gaslighting, as both flourish in power and control. In fact, some therapists call the silent treatment a form of gaslighting, used to cause personal uncertainty, and a sense of doubt when considering goals, self-views and worldviews.
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Narcissistic silent treatment is a type of narcissistic manipulation and narcissistic abuse. Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
The silent treatment is meant to hurt the other person where stonewalling is flooding and self-perseverance. Sometimes it can feel like your partner is doing both so it can be hard to differentiate.
No contact is you setting a boundary to regain control in your life. This is not abusive. Silent treatment from the narcissist is meant for you to “learn a lesson” and realize how wrong you were to the narcissist.
"As a form of control and punishment, there is certainly an element that is quite sadistic," Ms Shaw says. Psychologist Karen Gonsalkorale from the University of Sydney has researched the broader topic of ostracism, of which the silent treatment falls under.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
If narcissists don't get their way, they love to give people the silent treatment. This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.
Being silent as a form of defence
People that feel unable to communicate on an emotional level can feel safe behind a wall of silence. Instead of being present and engaged through difficulties they abandon you emotionally, physically and spiritually.
It may be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
Many abuse survivors say they hated the silent treatment more than the insults or yelling. When they were shouted at, at least they knew what was on the abuser's mind, and could better assess their own and their children's safety. Stone-cold silence can reinforce feelings of vulnerability and fear.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.