Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr.
Few marital problems cause as much heartache and devastation as infidelity, which undermines the foundation of marriage itself. However, when both spouses are committed to real healing, most marriages survive and many marriages become stronger with deeper levels of intimacy.
So it's 100% understandable to dump someone who cheats. In some situations, it might be the best thing to do. But in many situations, it's also perfectly reasonable to stay. It doesn't mean you're defective or weak.
It's absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it's also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.
In the state of California, people get no-fault divorces. That means you don't have to show the court that your spouse was unfaithful in order for a judge to grant your divorce. California courts aren't supposed to consider cheating when it comes to granting the divorce.
For a relationship to start healing after infidelity, the cheating partner should be willing to make amends. If they refuse to express remorse and apologize for their behavior, it may be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship and it is best to walk away.
It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. In the same study that states that cheaters will cheat again, they found that those who have been cheated on will most likely be cheated on again.
What are the long-term effects of being cheated on? If you've been cheated on, it may take a long time to heal. It can cause you chronic anxiety, post-traumatic stress, depression, and mistrust of others for a long time after the event.
If you wonder, “Can I ever trust my wife again after she cheated or can you trust someone who cheated?” the short answer: yes. But, in order to trust your wife again after cheating and recovery, the new normal might not look the same as it did before the cheating happened.
"Despite common belief, couples can not only rebuild trust after infidelity, but make their relationship stronger than it's ever been,” she tells Elite Daily. “Most of the infidelity that we see is that the person who cheated didn't go out with the specific purpose of cheating.
Your partner has to make the choice not to cheat, and you can't control other people's decisions. However, you can choose whether or not to trust your partner again. Rebuilding trust is possible. It does take a lot of work, and both partners have to be committed to healing the relationship.
About 75 percent of marriages survive if the male is cheating, and about 65 percent survive if the female is having an affair. Marriages in which males cheat are more likely to survive, therapists say, because men are less likely than women to have an emotional attachment with their mistresses.
Forgiving them will reduce the risk of the cheater's dishonesty rubbing off on you. Then you have a higher chance of being trusting and honest in any relationship. Your mind has valuable — and limited — real estate. There are better things to think about than how angry you are at someone who cheated on you.
Signs of emotional cheating
You share things with the other person that you haven't shared with your partner. You confide in the other person about your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time.
Don't ignore what happened
It may ease the pain to just ignore your partner's infidelity. But doing so won't address the underlying issues in your relationship. “Trying to ignore the unfaithfulness that occurred will only leave the relationship on shaky ground,” says Hall.
Some women cheat to avoid boredom; other women cheat because they feel neglected. Still, other women say they cheat just because they want to. The reasons for infidelity are complex and unique to each relationship. Walker makes clear, there's no one specific reason for infidelity within a marriage.
Does staying in a relationship after infidelity really make sense? Here are some facts that may shed some light: Infidelity affects 1 in every 2.7 couples and most (65%-70%) stay together after. Most partners engaged in infidelity actually want to stay in their relationships.