That way, you can express your thoughts about them at this difficult time, but give them space. If you are in pretty regular contact with them then yes, by all means let them know. If you have to make a special call when you have not been in contact with them I would say no, don't do it.
Only you can decide whether or not it's okay to reach out to an ex if you've learned they lost a close family member. Instead of calling them or reaching out directly via text, you may want to just send a very thoughtful sympathy card with a short note expressing your condolences.
At the end of the day, something as simple as “I'm so sorry for your loss” or “I'm so sad for you and your family, please accept my deepest condolences” is always appropriate.
In general, if you're on good terms with your ex-spouse and ex-family, you should attend the funeral. You were a big part of your spouse's life at one time.
Since you were so close with your ex's parents, you can and should definitely say goodbye to them.
Here's why: Breakups tend to involve some pretty intense emotions, and intense emotions often mess with your ability to think clearly, he says. Basically, when it comes to making decisions related to a breakup, your heart tends to overpower your head.
It is possible to maintain contact with an ex's family. Discuss this with your ex, and decide together what spending time with his or her family will look like. Be respectful by seeing his or her family when your ex is not there. And make sure that the contact you have is not a lot.
While there's nothing inherently wrong with reaching out and acknowledging the death of someone who was significant in your life but connected to your ex, such as a parent, child, or other close loved one, doing so might not be in your best interest.
If your breakup was terrible and there were lingering bad feelings on both sides, think about skipping the funeral. That doesn't mean that you can't mourn your loss. Just do it in your own way. Don't go to the funeral if you're completely estranged.
Funerals are emotional events and if there is family conflict, estranged relationships, or other reasons that can make the occasion uncomfortable, then the better personal choice may be to not attend.
Only you can decide whether or not it's okay to reach out to an ex if you've learned they lost a close family member. Instead of calling them or reaching out directly via text, you may want to just send a very thoughtful sympathy card with a short note expressing your condolences.
In fact, there are times when it's highly recommended. Grief can be overwhelming, so a concise text might be all a person can process. What matters most is that your words are said with care and concern.
Only you can decide whether or not it's okay to reach out to an ex if you've learned they lost a close family member. Instead of calling them or reaching out directly via text, you may want to just send a very thoughtful sympathy card with a short note expressing your condolences.
Instead of "sorry for your loss" you can consider saying alternative phrases to comfort someone whose mom or dad has just died, such as: I'm here for you during this time. I was saddened to hear of the loss of your (insert father or mother). I love you and am here for you as you deal with your parent's loss.
Refer to the deceased by name. Encourage the family to plan a wake, funeral and burial (even if cremated), if you are in an appropriate position to do so. Send flowers with a note (see suggestions for notes below) or offer a donation to a charity or an appropriate research organization. Acknowledge the deceased's life.
The funeral is a chance to pay your last respects to a person before they are buried or cremated. But the funeral isn't really for the deceased, it's for the living. It would only be wrong to skip a funeral if someone else is relying on you to be there.
Speaking at your father's funeral is a special way of honouring him and the relationship you had with him. Your public mourning could be a significant healing step for you as you grieve your loss of him. It may help others who are present in their grieving too.
Attending Your Ex's or Their Loved One's Funeral
It's up to you to decide whether your presence is appropriate for your ex-partner's funeral. If in doubt, check in with someone in the family to make sure it's okay with them. Know that whether you attend or not, you may experience grief related emotions.
Studies suggest that most people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.
It can feel like an extreme move when you're still working to get over a breakup, but the truth is that cutting off contact with an ex is the fastest, most effective way to truly move on.
3 Reasons Why Your Ex Still Talks To Your Family
Contacting your family could be a way to indirectly relay messages to you. If you're no contact, they could be feeling regret or uncertainty. Perhaps they're trying to reach out in hopes of rekindling the relationship. They're playing games.
It may depend on why your relationship ended and what you intend to do as friends. However, if you constantly think of your ex and feel you cannot move on from them, keeping in touch might not be healthy until you can stop feeling romantic feelings toward them.