If you couldn't control the situation or it was a trivial (and honest) mistake, there's no need to apologize. But if you were really at fault, own up to it. Admitting you're wrong is never easy, but it can strengthen your relationships and show that have emotional intelligence.
If something you've done has caused pain for another person, it's a good idea to apologize, even if whatever you did was unintentional. This is because apologizing opens up the doors to communication, which allows you to reconnect with the person who was hurt.
We become indignant, defensive, or lash out at others, none of which does anything to improve the situation. However, there is a time and place for apologizing even if you're not guilty. It's important to remember that apologizing is not an admission of guilt; it's an admission of responsibility.
Apologize once; more than that and the mistake grows to a bigger mistake because you're putting a spotlight on it, says Hanke. “Keep your sentences short, clear, and to the point,” she says. “The mistake has already been done. People are more interested in why you did it and what you're going to do about it.”
It is the words and actions that help move us past the situation to greener pastures where the person who was offended needs to rebuild trust in order to feel safe again. It is never too late to apologize, it is just a matter of how to do it properly.
If you couldn't control the situation or it was a trivial (and honest) mistake, there's no need to apologize. But if you were really at fault, own up to it. Admitting you're wrong is never easy, but it can strengthen your relationships and show that have emotional intelligence.
But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.
When you do something wrong? You need to apologize. But you don't need to apologize when someone asks you to do something you don't want to do. You don't need to apologize for things you don't have time to do, or attend, or accomplish when other people ask.
Clinging to resentment or anger indefinitely will not change the person who hurt us, but it may do damage to your own mental health. Enright's research indicates that forgiveness, with or without an apology, has far greater benefits for us than stubbornly waiting for an expression of remorse.
Instead of apologizing, use phrases like '“I'd love to add,” “I think that,” or “Here's a different perspective.” These phrases help you contribute without sounding scared to do so.
Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.
Give them space.
Once you've apologized correctly and offered to make it up to your friend or loved one, it's important to give the hurt party time to mull it over and accept, says Thomas. Seriously, another string of weepy please-forgive-me voicemails is overkill.
Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.
Even if you don't think what you said or did was so bad, or believe that the other person is actually in the wrong, it's still important to apologize when you've hurt or angered someone.
In my experience, a good apology not only heals the first injury but strengthens the relationship between people. In contrast, the failure to make an apology when one is called for often causes more damage than the initial hurt—because it expands the breach between the two of you.
Narcissists are constantly in self-protection mode. Another reason narcissists refuse to apologize is because to apologize requires empathy. Empathy is the capacity to place yourself into someone else's position and to understand what someone else is feeling.
An apology is usually portrayed as an admission of guilt, which the courts may see as justification for ruling in the plaintiff's favour.
Regret and be sorry are both used to say that someone feels sadness or disappointment about something that has happened, or about something they have done. Regret is more formal than be sorry. You can say that you regret something or are sorry about it.
When this happens, it's usually for one of two reasons: (1) We don't care enough about the other person or the relationship to take on the emotional discomfort of owning our mistake and apologizing for it; or (2) We believe our apology won't matter.
It's because making amends to another person can be so important and meaningful that it's worth taking time to do it well. Many hurts, especially old ones or major ones, require more than one brief talk to express and understand, much less to heal.
While an apology can help fix a situation and allow you to mend a hurt, it's possible to overdo it. Avoid apologizing too much or too intensely. It can be annoying for the other person, and it can shift the focus of your apology, making it more about you.
Who you are now matters more than who you were in the past, and it is never too late to offer forgiveness to yourself, and ask forgiveness from others.