something to numb the inner longing for love that's missing. Mothers provide daughters with three important developmental needs: nurturing, protection, and guidance. If any one of these three is missing, a daughter grows up with an achy loneliness that distorts her self-concept and capacity for healthy relationships.
A 'healthy' mother-daughter relationship is one that allows for closeness and togetherness – but simultaneously – for independence and space. It's caring and loving and fun and silly. This changes at every age and stage from childhood to adulthood. A mother daughter relationship is whatever you choose to make it!
Traits Of A Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship
They acknowledge each other as individuals and spend adequate time – neither too much nor too little. The mother-daughter duo recognizes and respects boundaries. They make reasonable commitments to each other and come through on them.
A daughter's need for her mother's love is a primal driving force that doesn't diminish with unavailability. Wounds may include lack of confidence and trust, difficulty setting boundaries, and being overly sensitive. Daughters of unloving mothers may unwittingly replicate the maternal bond in other relationships.
A mother and daughter share a special bond. A mother's love for her daughter is unconditional and cannot be described in words. The relationship is characterized by love, warmth, affection, and care. The mother-daughter relationship may vary among individuals, but each bond is unique and irreplaceable.
Dysfunctional mother-daughter relationships can come in many forms. Often it can take form in criticism, where a daughter feels like she's constantly getting negative feedback from her maternal figure. Sometimes, it can take the form of detachment. “Some women are simply not close to their mothers,” says Wernsman.
Unconditional love from family. Self-confidence and high self-esteem. The opportunity to play with other children. Encouraging teachers and supportive caretakers.
Kids must feel safe and sound, with their basic survival needs met: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
Parenting: The 3 C's – Consistency, Care, Communication.
Similar Brain Chemistry
According to a 2016 study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, mother-daughter relationships are the strongest parent-child bond because of how we process emotion. While fathers love their children and mothers adore their sons, the bonds aren't always as strong in empathy.
“As the daughter becomes less dependent on the mother and starts to make some of her own decisions - that can cause rifts in the relationship. This is most evident when the daughter's thoughts and beliefs start to differ from those of her mother. This 'coming into self' can often feel like rejection.
Strong-willed moms have an enthusiasm for their passionate viewpoints that inspires others to take on their opinions and convictions. The other thing I love about strong-willed moms is their thirst to know more. They do change directions when new and better information is presented clearly and persuasively.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Mommy issues in women
Difficulty trusting others/commitment issues. Having very few female friends. Feeling like you must do everything perfectly. Avoiding anything having to do with your mother.
“The daughter who has a fulfilling relationship with her father is usually more trusting, more secure and more satisfied in her romantic relationships than the daughter with a troubled or distant relationship with her dad,” she said, adding that this is the case regardless of whether her parents are married or divorced ...
Predivorce family dynamics: In most intact families, sons and daughters are closer to their mothers than to their fathers. This does not mean the children and their fathers love one another less.
This overwhelming turmoil affects daughters in incomprehensible ways, and daughters of unloving mothers can even go through stages, similar to the grief cycle: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.