Assertive, not aggressive, confrontation is the best way to frustrate the goals of a passive-aggressive person. You see, passive-aggressive people hate confrontation. It's not their style. When you catch them in the moment and stand up for yourself assertively, you catch them off guard.
Passive aggression often stems from underlying anger, sadness, or insecurity, of which the person may or may not be consciously aware. Passive-aggressive behavior may be an expression of those emotions or an attempt to gain control in a relationship. Bearing that in mind can inform how you respond.
People who behave passive-aggressively do not want others to notice or respond to their aggression, but they still want to communicate their emotions. There is no single method that works for all types of passive-aggressive behavior.
It can include actions such as subtle insults, sarcasm, procrastination, or avoiding certain tasks that the passive-aggressive person finds unpleasant. People who exhibit this behavior may be afraid of confrontation or conflict, so they will instead express their feelings through passive-aggressive behaviors.
Someone who is passive-aggressive often lets others take control while someone who is aggressive is more confrontational or directly forceful. So, someone who is passive-aggressive exerts their control over situations in a less direct or recognizable way.
The silent treatment can often be used when the person doesn't have the tools to respond differently. When faced with the triggering of strong feelings, they may not know what else to do — so they go quiet. It can also be a passive-aggressive response to avoid directly communicating how (hurt) they feel.
Passive-aggressive behavior can be toxic to workplace relationships, friendships, and family ties.
What is it? According to the American Psychological Association (APA), PAPD is “a personality disorder of long standing in which ambivalence toward the self and others” is expressed by passive expressions of underlying negativism. This means that PAPD is a chronic, generally inflexible, condition.
Specific signs of passive-aggressive behavior include: Resentment and opposition to the demands of others, especially the demands of people in positions of authority. Resistance to cooperation, procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands. Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude.
Acts out aggression physically
A passive-aggressive person may slam doors, move things around loudly, or use other physical means of getting their point across without words.
Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. This is a passive-aggressive apology done to silence the other person and move onto a different topic. It minimizes what the other person has experienced.
Limited Awareness. The passive-aggressive is somewhat aware of the fact that she or he is resisting but does not recognize it as passive-aggressiveness per se; they just do what they do. They are not cognizant of, or concerned with, the destructive impact of passive-aggression.
The most obvious example of passive-aggressive behavior can be experienced when someone is gaslighting you and being emotionally manipulative. But it can happen in smaller ways, too, even with people you love and care about or see every day.
In some cases, stress caused by life events or a mental health issue can cause people to act in passive-aggressive ways. Anxiety, depression, bipolar, and ADHD are a few common mental health issues that may cause passive aggression.
Constant displays of passive-aggressive behavior may be a sign of conditions like depression or related to symptoms like PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
It is a form of manipulation. It's indirect and dishonest. Anyone can be passive-aggressive at times. Exaggerated interest or sweetness (but you feel like you'll be stabbed in the back the moment you leave the person.
Condescending comments, put-downs and sarcasm — all hallmarks of passive-aggressive behavior — contribute to an environment of incivility, according to experts. Left unchecked, latent contempt can erode morale and contribute to burnout, even if you otherwise enjoy your job.
Loneliness as passive-aggressive behavior
A passive-aggressive person will avoid face-to-face confrontation. They can't show their feelings; therefore, being lonely will improve peace of mind. Most passive aggressors will isolate themselves to clear harsh feedback.
Negative body language
Maybe they're pouting, crossing their arms, or rolling their eyes, instead of saying outright what's bothering them. Really, any behavior that expresses negative feelings without directly stating them is passive-aggressive, she adds.
They ask questions that make you feel defensive.
Instead of asking, "What does that involve?" or saying, "I've heard about keto diets, but don't know much about them," or even just, "How is that going for you?" a passive-aggressive person might say, "Why did you ever decide to do that?"