Lying. Humiliating or putting down your partner in public or private. Committing an act of emotional or physical infidelity. Being physically violent.
Betrayal is the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person. The most common forms of betrayal are harmful disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty, infidelity, dishonesty. They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress.
Deception includes lying, half-truths, lying by omission, making ambiguous or vague statements, manipulating information using exaggeration or minimization, and gaslighting. Secrets and deceit often pair with other forms of betrayal such as cheating, addiction, lies about money, or extramarital alliances.
Anything that violates a committed relationship's contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous. Betrayals are founded on two building blocks: deception (not revealing your true needs to avoid conflict) and a yearning for emotional connection from outside the relationship.
Denying your partner's sexual desires
Acts of betrayal in relationships do not only occur when one person cheats on the other. A conscious rejection of physical intimacy with your partner, especially for no apparent reasons, can affect your partner's emotional and mental health in more ways than you can imagine.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” - Author unknown.
The stages of betrayal trauma recovery are not always linear, but there are generally three main phases: shock and disbelief, grief and anger, and rebuilding trust. In the first stage, shock and disbelief, people often feel numb and confused.
Some women express that it shakes the very foundation of trust for everyone and everything. In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages of grief that include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I'm going to add two more stages to betrayal: shock and obsession.
The first is excessive ambition, greed, lust or passion. When a person cannot control is overcome with these vices, he's liable to betray. A drug addict will betray the trust placed on him because his addiction is overpowering. It is greater than any sense of loyalty, integrity or honesty he may have.
Instead of immediately reacting and confronting the person, you may feel better if you get some personal space. Write down your feelings or call a trusted friend and talk with them about what happened. Working through your own emotions is a good guide for how you'll interact with the person who betrayed you.
Betrayal hurts because someone you love and care about chose to hurt you. When you have put such a large emotional investment into a person and only for them to turn around and cause you suffering, you feel as though you lost a part of yourself. This feeling of heartbreak is normal for a short duration.
Betrayal is defined as the sense of being harmed by the omission or intentional actions of an individual who is viewed as a trusted person (Rachman, 2010). This could be a partner, relative, or even a colleague. Betrayal can result in a myriad of emotions ranging from anger and rage, through to denial and avoidance.
Betrayers possess a ruthless dedication to self-advancement to the extent that other people lose their value as humans and become objects to be manipulated. Self-Deception – The third characteristic that typifies the ideal betrayer is self-deception.
Satan in Hell
In his three mouths he has the three greatest traitors of human history: Brutus and Cassius, two Roman traitors, and Judas Iscariot.
A betrayed person may experience:
Hypervigilance or feelings that nothing is safe. A sense of inadequacy or embarrassment. Shame or self-blame. Decreased self-esteem.
There may be many good reasons to be upset at a person close to you who violates your trust. However, it is this sense that you're not valued that may be at the heart of your emotional reaction. Betrayal by people you care about hurts because it destroys your self-esteem.
Lying. Humiliating or putting down your partner in public or private. Committing an act of emotional or physical infidelity. Being physically violent.
When people are betrayed, they often consciously or unconsciously seek revenge. The betrayed person's world suddenly destabilized, often causing grief, a sense of loss, and depression. Revenge is a form of “justice” or “fairness” that can restore a collapsing world.
As if that is not enough, when betrayal occurs, your brain begins to operate in a different way. The fear center fires up and stays fired up, creating hyper-vigilance, restlessness, anxiety, and a sense of being perpetually on guard.
Overcoming the pain and heartache from your partner's betrayal can be complicated. Recovering from betrayal trauma is not something you can rush through in a day or two. It takes between eighteen months to three years for most people to fully recover.
Most people who have betrayed someone they love feel plagued by feelings of guilt, sadness, shame, or remorse. Your own capacity to hurt a loved one may also damage your own self-esteem and identity.