Healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself — unhealthy relationships don't. Lying, cheating, jealousy, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control a partner.
Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships
These behaviors can include grabbing, pushing, pinching, yelling, making demeaning comments, hitting, strangulation of the neck, not letting you spend time with friends or family, or making you feel guilty for not spending time with your partner.
The 5 types of unhealthy relationships are abusive, resentful, carefree, stagnant, and enabler. An abusive relationship is one where one person physically or emotionally abuses the other person.
One dating partner lies to or keeps information from the other. One dating partner steals from the other. Disrespect. One dating partner makes fun of the opinions and interests of the other partner or destroys something that belongs to the partner.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
Financial manipulation, verbal, physical, sexual, as well as emotional abuse is still abuse. And are some of the most common forms of abuse in intimate partner relationships. If you face any one of these--get out of it.
When dating someone emotionally unstable, you may feel as though you're walking on eggshells with them. The most classic symptom of emotional instability is mood swings. Emotionally unstable people are often volatile.
For David Richo in his book 'How to be an Adult in Relationships', there are five key elements that all healthy relationships need - attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing.
However, it is how you deal with conflict that can potentially be problematic. Research has uncovered four toxic behaviours that can get in the way of communication and derail collaborative relationships if left unchecked. The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.
Excessive alcohol consumption, poor food choices, smoking, and inactivity are all ways you might cope with the stress in your life. Even though you might turn to unhealthy behaviors now, it's possible to make healthier choices to help deal with stress.
The most destructive relationship behaviours are those the Gottmann Institute has deemed the 'Four Horsemen' – criticism, defensiveness, contempt (eye-rolling, disgust, dismissal or ridiculing), stonewalling, and the silent treatment. Of these, contempt has been shown to be the greatest predictor of divorce.
If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn't respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.
In an unhealthy relationship, you might feel like you always have to walk on eggshells around the other person. Or you might feel like you always have to hide what you really think or feel. You might even feel like you have to give up the things that you really want in order to keep the other person happy.
Relationships where there are a lot of conflicts, lack of authenticity, minimal attention, or little reciprocity, are exhausting. In those cases, the connection may even feel outweighed by the stress, frustration, or resentment. You may even feel so "used" to this person that the state of exhaustion feels normal.
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked.
"Half-your-age-plus-seven" rule
An often-asserted rule of thumb to determine whether an age difference is socially acceptable holds that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years.
"A healthy relationship includes supporting and accepting your partner for who they are, without judgment," Abrams says. "What it does not include is criticizing or belittling or trying to change someone. Once those behaviors enter into a relationship, it can be very difficult to recover."
You tend to manipulate things
Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you're doing any of these things, you're clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner's love and respect for you.
If you're someone who can hurt your partner with little care or remorse, or find a way to blame them for your actions, then you're being toxic. Understanding and respecting your partner's feelings is integral to a successful bond, and if you refuse to empathize with their perspective, you're toxic.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.