And, as it is well known, patients and clients suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder have a profound fear of abandonment, which they often exhibit in the, “I will leave you first” phenomenon, at the slightest perception that they may become less important, less loved, or less cared for in a relationship.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
A person with BPD may also be very physical and eager to spend a lot of time with their partner. At the same time, people with BPD are sensitive to abandonment or rejection. Many are hyperfocused on perceived signs that a romantic partner isn't happy or may leave them.
Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.
Many therapists share the general stigma that surrounds patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Some even avoid working with such patients because of the perception that they are difficult to treat.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Intense outbursts of anger are indicative of an episode of BPD as are bouts of depression and anxiety. Eighty percent of those suffering from BPD experience suicidal thoughts and behavior while in the throes of an episode as well.
Borderline patients may become distraught at ordinary criticism, which they experience as a blow to self-esteem; may react with rage to a disappointment or minor slight; or may feel terror at a separation that they experience as virtual abandonment.
MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Signs That BPD Splitting Is Sabotaging Your Relationship. The person with BPD often uses splitting when the feelings are so overwhelming that the person reacts to get rid of them; for instance sending abusive messages or breaking up in the heat of the moment. Often these splitting behaviours push the partner away.
If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.
Why Do Borderlines Need Attention? Attention-seeking is a prominent aspect of BPD, but it's only one symptom of borderline personality disorder in adolescents and adults. Attention-seeking in BPD is often dramatic and disruptive and originates from a deep need to be validated constantly.
Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.
Many individuals seeking treatment for symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) find that many therapists are reluctant to treat this condition. This only adds to the suffering of those seeking help and increases their sense of hopelessness and futility.
Personality disorders are difficult to treat because it's very difficult for someone suffering from one of these disorders to separate their personality (how they interact with others, how they view the world, and how they think about themselves) from the symptoms of their mental illness.
In particular, there is evidence that BPD is commonly misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder, Type 2. One study showed that 40% of people who met criteria for BPD but not for bipolar disorder were nevertheless misdiagnosed with Bipolar Type 2.
Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
Part of their surprise almost surely stemmed from an uncomfortable truth: people with BPD are often regarded as hopeless individuals, destined to a life of emotional misery. They are also frequently viewed as so disturbed that they cannot possibly achieve success in everyday life.
Splitting is a common behavior among people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). It means that a person has difficulty accurately assessing another individual or situation. Instead, they see something as completely good or completely bad, and their assessment may switch back and forth rapidly.