Parents with BPD have diminished confidence themselves. They also tend to be overly critical of themselves and others. Mistakes may be considered downright unacceptable, and any perception of failure might be punished. These unhealthy patterns can undoubtedly impact a child's confidence.
People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
Parents with BPD have significant fears of abandonment that they typically pass down to their children. Children who grow up with a BPD parent often feel confused, ashamed, and lack a sense of who they are.
A BPD mother's symptoms will affect how she interacts with her children. Mothers with BPD can seem unloving, withholding, and negative. Their behavior may be unpredictable and their children may feel like they have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent their mothers from having mood swings.
Maladaptive parenting, that is, maltreatment, abuse or neglect inflicted on a child by their caregiver, is one environmental stressor that has historically gained attention in literature exploring the aetiology of BPD [13, 14, 15] and has been hypothesised to mediate the association between BPD symptoms in parents and ...
For example, in her book Understanding the Borderline Mother, Dr. Christine Lawson, describes four subtypes of mothers with BPD: the Waif (helpless), the Hermit (fearful/avoidant), the Queen (controlling) and the Witch (sadistic).
A person with BPD may appear to be emotionally immature because they often expect others to put their needs first. They're frequently emotionally dependent on others and may appear to be trying to manipulate others to give them their way by inappropriate emotional reactions or acting out.
These effects often emerge early. Researchers have found that even young children with mothers suffering from BPD display “a shameful and incongruent sense of self,” heightened fear of abandonment, and difficulties creating stable relationships.
They love their kids in their own personal BPD way: to the extremes. In terms of love, pwBPD have problems loving, offering love and feeling loved. While these problems manifest mainly with their intimate partner, they can also manifest towards their children.
Adolescent girls whose mothers have BPD often have difficulties with self-perception and social interactions, in addition to problematic mother-daughter relationships. Environmental and genetic factors contribute to problems in adolescence.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
There is also evidence to link BPD to other forms of child maltreatment, such as emotional and physical neglect.
The children of Narcissistic parents who develop personality disorders (and not all do) generally become either Narcissistic or Schizoid. A few develop Borderline Personality Disorder.
Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
An individual developing borderline personality disorder begins to have difficulty managing their emotions, which impacts their relationships, their self-image, and their behaviors. Their emotions are extremely intense, which can lead to episodes of depression, anxiety or anger that may persist for days or even weeks.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
The Trauma of Having a Parent with BPD. Having a parent with BPD, a BPD mother or father, can bring unspeakably painful trauma; Because of their immaturity and instability, they may stop you from separating from them, suppress your emotional expression, and hamper your development and growth.
The Victim
Individuals with BPD often feel helpless, hopeless, powerless, and ashamed. When in this state of mind, they may adopt a passive role and draw in others to make decisions for them and support them.
The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.
People who suffer from BPD show erratic mood-swings and find it difficult to trust and understand the motives of others.
Low-Functioning BPD Mothers
Waifs feel helpless but reject attempts by family members to help them. In this way, they passively control others and are generally unable to nurture others.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
A favorite person frequently is expected (consciously or otherwise) to help resolve unmet needs for the person with BPD.” People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance.