“Men feel insecure about being seen as less-than,” says marriage and family therapist Hanalei Vierra, Ph. D. “Less than strong enough, less than smart enough, less than sexy enough, less than good-looking enough, less than funny enough, less than competent enough.”
“Some of the most common insecurities and relationships include emotional insecurity, attachment insecurity, physical insecurity, financial insecurity, professional insecurity, and social insecurity,” explains LaTonya P.
Surveys have found that 20 to 40% of men have body image issues. Similar to women, some men feel self-conscious about their physical appearance – whether it's due to hair loss, weight, skin troubles (acne, blackheads, or scarring), or any other physical quirk or imperfection.
Certainly, some men are insecure about their height and some men do turn to extremes to compensate for what they think is missing from their height. According to a new study, one of those extremes is less external and more internal. Shorter men are indirectly aggressive toward their taller counterparts.
Not all forms fit neatly into categories either, but some of the most common types of insecurity include relationship insecurity, social insecurity, body image insecurity, job insecurity, and insecurity of basic needs.
A person with high levels of insecurity may often experience a lack of confidence regarding many aspects of life. It may be difficult for that person to form lasting relationships or attend to daily tasks, due to a self-perception of helplessness or inadequacy.
Emotional intimacy
Being honest and vulnerable is very difficult for a lot of guys, and it's another common male insecurity. Sometimes it's connected to behavior or something in their past that they are embarrassed or ashamed about.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
The data suggests that men, on average, feel insecure about their looks three times a week, worrying about factors like their weight (37%) and how their eyes look (22%).
They're terrified of disappointing you. Some of the most common sexual issues — performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction — result from guys' fear of being bad lovers. However, because they don't want to look like they don't know what they're doing, they usually won't ask for direction from their partners.
A person who looks in the mirror and suffers to do it, is beautifully insecure. Yet, people who rarely look in the mirror and who are indifferent to their impact on others because they believe they are perfect in the relationship, may be insecure in a pathological way.
What is relationship insecurity? Relationship insecurity means you're unsure and unconfident about your relationship. It's a deep belief that you just aren't good enough for your partner, that you don't deserve love or one of many other limiting beliefs that cause you to feel anxious.
The fear of being socially judged is one of the most common forms of insecurity. Some people feel self-conscious, anxious, and fearful when in front of others. It doesn't matter whether it's a group of colleagues or family members. This can extend to even the smallest of social encounters like a date.
“The foremost thing that causes insecurity in a woman is her looks — her physique, complexion, voice and the way she carries herself and how these things are received by the external world. And if they are scrutinized negatively by her family, it's bound to pile on a lot of emotional baggage” according to Kavita.
Emotional insecurity
An insecure person lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themself or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and bring about loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future.
He explains that men don't care much or only slightly care if a woman is shorter than they are, but women really do prefer a taller mate. Height is one factor that could spark physical attraction, but Stulp suggests that clearly other partner traits play a role in selecting a mate and may be much more important.
In fact, women care more about dating taller men than men care about dating shorter women. A study on women's and men's height preferences found that women are most satisfied when their partner was 8 inches (21cm) taller. Men are most satisfied when they are 3 inches (8cm) taller than their partners.
Men tend to want a woman no taller than 6 feet, while women want a man no shorter than 5 feet 4 inches. New YouGov research into the subject of height finds that men and women both tend to think it's ideal to be slightly above average – but people are fairly open-minded.