Recognize your mistake and understand what you did wrong. An apology doesn't mean much if we're just saying, “I'm sorry,” to get out of trouble with someone we care about. ...
So how do we build a worthy apology? Experts like Aaron Lazare and Nick Smith, in their book On Apology, point to four essential parts of the apology, and we can remember them as the 4 R's: Recognition, Responsibility, Remorse, and Reparation.
To keep their victims nearby, then, they'll make apologies left and right without taking any real actions to improve themselves or make amends. These are not real apologies—they are manipulation tactics. Any counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist in the world will attest that an apology without change is manipulation.
Acknowledge the offense. Take responsibility for the offense, whether it was a physical or psychological harm, and confirm that your behavior was not acceptable. ...
American adults rated apologies for a trust violation as more effective when they contained a greater number of the following elements: an acknowledgment of responsibility, an explanation of what went wrong, an expression of regret, an offer of repair, a declaration of repentance, and a request for forgiveness.
A true apology keeps the focus on your actions—and not on the other person's response. For example, “I'm sorry that you felt hurt by what I said at the party last night,” is not an apology. Try instead, “I'm sorry about what I said at the party last night.
How do you apologize without saying sorry professionally?
Instead of apologizing for things that are out of your control, use phrases like, “I appreciate your patience” and “Thank you for working with me,” to overcome any awkwardness and reinstate an air of confidence.
The Empathetic Apology is a four-part process designed to help the offender take ownership of the offense, empathize with the offended, apologize for the offense, and then ask for forgiveness.
Express regret for your behavior. For example, you may say, “I realize that my words and actions were wrong and I regret that I let my anger get out of hand. I know that I hurt you and embarrassed you, and I am sorry for my behavior.”
Offering an apology implies that they've harmed another person in some way, which can elicit feelings of shame. People who cannot apologize often have such deep feelings of low self-worth that their fragile egos cannot absorb the blow of admitting they were wrong.
8. You Should Never Apologize for Standing your Ground. Never say you are sorry for defending your values, morals, ethics,religious or spiritual beliefs. Leaders never apologize for doing what they feel is right.
So how do you apologize when you aren't wrong, or rather, if you believe you aren't wrong? Start by acknowledging how the other person feels. Like any other apology, express regret over what happened. If you're apologizing on behalf of someone on your team, don't make excuses for them.
A sincere apology contains the phrase “I'm sorry” and is followed by the thing that happened. (“I'm sorry I hurt your feelings by not inviting you to the birthday party.”) These words are important as they signify someone taking responsibility for what happened.
