People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
A partner with narcissistic traits is more likely to play games, act in manipulative ways, and exploit you for their benefit. If a person you're dating exhibits these traits, it doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed.
If you suspect your narcissistic partner is cheating, explore your emotions and response options before confronting them. Keep in mind that they may employ tactics like gaslighting, denial, defensiveness, or even become abusive, so this encounter may not go well if you're hoping to work things out.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Attention-seeking: A narcissist demands excessive attention. They need constant validation and praise from others, and often fish for compliments. Sense of entitlement: Narcissists believe they can do whatever they want, and feel like they deserve special treatment. They will take advantage of others for personal gain.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
To tell if someone's a narcissist, she says, look for someone who fully believes they are better than everyone else, expects special treatment from others, and consistently ignores the needs and feelings of others in the pursuit of their own interests.
Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration. Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
Warning Signs Of An Aging Narcissist
Become more reclusive and only want to spend time with people they feel are worthy of their attention. May lose interest in the people around them altogether. May find that they are no longer able to tolerate the imperfections of others and may lash out in anger or frustration.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
Because a male narcissist is always trying to protect his fragile and low self-esteem, he may try to control every variable to prevent disappointment, discomfort, and failure. For instance, these control issues may show up as a partner dictating how you talk and act around others.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
This point is taken from Malkin's book, Rethinking Narcissism, in which he describes the narcissist's “stealth control” as one red flag. In the early stages of a relationship, he may simply change up plans you've already made, substituting something else which he bills as “better” or more fun or glamorous.
They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.” “I didn't do that.”
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.