Changing narratives, becoming defensive, and adding dramatic details could be signs of a pathological liar. But not always. Pathological lying — also known as pseudologia fantastica, mythomania, and morbid lying — is a compulsive pattern of telling people things you know aren't true.
A review of studies on the perception of speech cues to lying delineates a stereotypical image of a liar. Listeners expect liars to speak more slowly, pause longer, and speak with a higher pitched voice.
Lying can be a symptom of some mental health conditions according to a 2021 review, including borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) may lie to mask compulsions or stop friends and family from worrying about their behaviors.
Pathological lying is a possible symptom of certain personality disorders, including: borderline personality disorder (BPD) narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) antisocial personality disorder (APD)
The narcissistic liar
This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.
When it comes to detecting lies, people often focus on body language “tells,” or subtle physical and behavioral signs that reveal deception. For example, shrugging, lack of expression, a bored posture, and grooming behaviors such as playing with hair or pressing fingers to lips can give away a person who is lying.
Liars hedge their statements.
“As far as I recall…” “If you really think about it…” “What I remember is…” Hedged statements aren't an absolute indicator of deception, but an overuse of such qualifying phrases certainly should raise suspicion that a person isn't being totally up front with what he or she knows.
Watch facial expressions When people are in the middle of a lie their facial expressions may show you. Look for flared nostrils, lip biting, rapid blinking or sweating. These changes in facial activity signify an increase in brain activity as a lie begins.
People who lie pathologically often tell lies about things that don't matter, for no apparent reason. They may do it unconsciously and may not even realize they're lying in the moment, although they can often tell afterward.
The liar lacks the ability to consider what you might feel in response to their lie (which is empathy).
There is a developmental progression to lying. At the first level, the child wants to achieve some goal or reward by saying something that she knows or believes to be false. Her intention may be to affect the listener's behavior — to avoid punishment or receive a reward, for example.
Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It's a defence mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.
When people lie and they are confronted with evidence that contradicts those lies, they may change their story or deny the truth altogether. They may also try to manipulate others to maintain their false story. Blaming others for their lies. They may try to deflect blame or shift responsibility onto others.
For example, are they using “bigger” words than they usually do? They might say “utilize” instead of “use” or something similar. Overall, if their wording sounds suspiciously scripted, it could be one of the signs someone is lying in text.
Avoiding eye contact. Being vague, or offering few details. Body language that is contradictory (such as saying "no" but nodding their head up and down) Body language that is unusual (like fidgeting, rigidity, rubbing brow, playing with hair, or slouching)
The three most commonly referred to are lies of commission, lies of omission, and lies of influence, aka character lies.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
Four Ds of Narcissism: Deny, Dismiss, Devalue & Divorce.
Narcissist Lies Often Turn Into Gaslighting
For the NPD, the lies are often a prelude to gaslighting. Gaslighting is a psychological weapon used by some to keep a person emotionally off-balance. When they lie to the person's face about what may have occurred, they cause the victim to question their own sanity.