Ghosting takes away the opportunity to talk and process, which can allow healing. But without conversation, it can cause someone to question their worth, what they did wrong and did the person ever really like them. This can lead to trauma and other severe emotions like depression or anxiety.”
At its worst, ghosting is a trauma that can affect your willingness to trust others again or enter into future relationships. You might find yourself so fixated on getting closure from the ghoster that you can't move forward.
Ghosting someone demonstrates a lack of empathy and a disregard for the other person's feelings. Yes, ghosting is easy, and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal when you hardly know someone. But empathy is another sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you can connect with and care about people at a human level.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
“Common reasons people ghost each other are not feeling a chemistry or connection and not being able to communicate that due to fear of hurting the person's feelings,” says Hannah Tishman, a licensed clinical social worker in New York City, New York.
Ghosting itself reflects some classic traits of a narcissist, including low self-esteem, the need to have the upper hand in a relationship, and a lack of empathy for the other person. Someone with this personality disorder forms relationships based on how they may benefit them.
After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone's feelings.
Traumatic Effects of Being Ghosted
Trauma can manifest in many ways. Sometimes, the trauma may seem like depression. Other times, ghosting can cause anxiety and panic attacks. Still other times trauma may lead to obsessive thoughts and confusion.
Ghosting is a form of passive rejection and it's also indicative of emotionally immature people.
Like most ghosts people report having experienced, you're just an annoying practitioner of “now you see me, now you don't.” Ghosting is akin to Gaslighting because it's a denial, a charade. And it rejects the worthiness of another human being and the impact of the exchange that may have happened between you.
Ghosting demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person's feelings and a lack of empathy for how the ghosting may impact them. They assume that the other person will “get the hint” and can use this to justify their actions.
It's a power play.
Sometimes a person may choose to ghost someone because they enjoy the sense of power it gives them over the situation, says Manly.
Ghosting usually has a build-up, a predictable pattern. First, response times lag — a couple of hours, then half-days, then full days followed by fake excuses. You know, the “Sorry, I totally didn't see this text” or the “Sorry, I was um, at my grandmother's funeral.” Then come the delays: “Not this weekend.
Intentionally ignoring a person without an explanation is one of the most passive aggressive forms of human behavior there is — it denotes a certain disdain for the person being ignored. It suggests a weakness of character and is a red flag that indicates an unresolved issue on behalf of the “ghoster.”
According to therapists, ghosting can hurt so much because it's human nature to assume we did something to deserve the silence. Self-esteem and the potential you saw in the relationship can impact how much it hurts to get ghosted.
Ghosting takes away the opportunity to talk and process, which can allow healing. But without conversation, it can cause someone to question their worth, what they did wrong and did the person ever really like them. This can lead to trauma and other severe emotions like depression or anxiety.”
If we're being real, it's easier to ignore a problem until it just goes away than having to face an uncomfortable situation, but ghosting is selfish and cowardly. "Though a ghoster's intentions aren't necessarily malicious, the behavior is ultimately selfish and childish," says Meyers.
Not every ghoster who does hoovering will turn out to be a narcissist. The key is to generally identify this person's motives and intentions. While we cannot read their minds, we can make do with what they previously did. If they previously harmed you in any capacity, this is a no-go situation.
Unwanted thoughts and intrusive memories can subsequently be triggered by being ghosted. These memories come from the Hippocampus, the part of the brain that consolidates memory and constantly adds to it.
They genuinely miss you.
Ghosters like that might be asking for a new chance. It's okay to take someone back after they ghost you, as long as they apologize for ghosting in the first place. If they're not sorry for doing it (or don't understand what they did wrong), they're more likely to do it again.
They may feel too emotionally vulnerable to tolerate your reaction, and rationalize that avoiding a confrontation is necessary for their wellbeing, even if it causes you pain. Many ghosters suffer from fragile egos and low self-esteem, and believe they're just doing you a favor.
The Role It Plays in Bipolar. Ghosting is a contemporary term used for when a person completely cuts off all communication with a friend or romantic partner by not responding to texts, ignoring calls and acting as if the person no longer exists. It is done without a reason or an explanation from the person doing it.
Depressive tendencies do not make people ghost their friends or romantic partners. While individuals with mental health problems tend to withdraw, they also seek support from their friends and romantic partners, making ghosting others less likely.