The physical signs of cheating are the most obvious. This includes spending more time with friends and less with you, avoiding sex, having a random or significantly changed schedule, and changes in their appearance.
The phone is always angled away from you. They are constantly scrambling to keep the phone within reach. When bedtime rolls around, they don't put their phone on the nightstand anymore – it's always tucked under the pillow. This is a common red flag.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
People who habitually cheat may do so as a way of dealing with a fear of abandonment, which may stem from low self-esteem. They think that by being with multiple people, they won't be abandoned. Some people cheat repeatedly due to their own insecurities and a deep-seated fear that they are unlovable.
The Progression of Infidelity
Much like the stages of grief, the stages of infidelity are not always linear. For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity.
Suddenly hiding financial information or being secretive about how much money they have or are spending is a classic method for cheaters to hide their actions. For example, it is common for the cheating partner to purchase their affair partner gifts, spend money on dates, and invest in weekends away.
'A phone placed face down is a known warning sign and is seen as a red flag that a person can be cheating or might be hiding something. Because it is known to cause suspicion of cheating the solution for many cheaters is to turn off their notifications or hide them to avoid questions.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
A cheater might suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a narcissistic view of seeing things. Some people have a tendency for attention-seeking and once they are satisfied with one person they might go on to another to fulfil their needs and validate themselves.
Avoid dragging this matter out by giving futile explanations and creating a mile-long apology for cheating. Keep the apology short and specific, but meaningful and genuine. Also, never put blame on your other half to justify or explain cheating. It will only push them away from you – and that's the last thing you want!
Innocent people can react to false accusations of cheating can in a variety of ways. Common reactions include surprise and disbelief, denial of the accusation, anger and frustration, a desire to prove their innocence, and a willingness to cooperate with any efforts to investigate the situation.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Things that can trigger flashbacks include spending time with your partner who cheated, romantic sounds, love stories, not hearing from your partner and sometimes they can just come out of the blue when you least expect it. Being betrayed by a loved one can often be traumatic.
Cheating on a spouse or significant other is sure to cause feelings of jealousy and hurt in the spurned partner. But men and women differ on what part of cheating they think is the worst: Men tend to be more bothered by sexual infidelity, while most women are bothered more by emotional infidelity.
Emotional cheating is the most common type of affair with Couples Therapy revealing 45% of men and 35% of women admitted to being involved in emotional cheating.