The Red Flags "They might even go absent for periods of time." You never know where you stand with them. According to Campbell, breadcrumbers "are sporadic, inconsistent, and unpredictable in their expression of interest" in you. They seem warm toward you but then turn cold.
“People feel comfortable not having to make an actual effort and would rather take the easy way out.” Edwards adds that, other times, people don't realize they're breadcrumbing you. “They like the attention and will do just enough to keep it going, not thinking they're doing anything wrong,” he says.
What happens when you ignore a breadcrumber? The moment you start ignoring a breadcrumber, you stop feeding their ego. Eventually, they will get the message and move on.
Picking up on breadcrumbing can be hard because it is a manipulation tactic, so the effects of it typically involve questioning realities (think gaslighting), including whether or not you're worthy of attention, and whether or not the person in question actually cares about you.
This behavior can make you feel hopeful but then confused and hurt. Breadcrumbing can be a typical behavior of narcissists and other toxic people. Breadcrumbing is usually done through a low-effort text or direct message.
Breadcrumbers are not usually interested in commitment; their aim is to receive attention and feel attractive and popular in the dating world. Breadcrumbing means metaphorically throwing someone breadcrumbs (for example, text messages, likes, and comments on social media) to hold their attention and interest.
By confronting the breadcrumber, you're showing that you're smarter than they might have expected. You're effectively removing the attention they need to thrive. The second way to fight a breadcrumber is by simply ignoring them. Essentially, you're ghosting the breadcrumber — the same thing they've been doing to you.
The Reasoning
According to Campbell, people engage in breadcrumbing "because their self-esteem is impacted by how much attention they can secure from others." Although the exact reasons for the behavior vary, there are a few psychological patterns she points to as to why people do it. They feel better about themselves.
Breadcrumbing examples:
Texting, emailing, or direct messaging (DMing) every so often but not responding to requests to spend time together. Commenting on social media posts but not engaging in direct communication. Being attentive and flirty in person but not making a move to hang out again.
Breadcrumbing behavior can exist in ongoing relationships and even marriage. A lack of consistency or commitment in an intimate relationship can leave you feeling conditionally cared for and strung along. You may have even become dependent on the little emotional morsels they throw your way.
One way to effectively communicate your feelings to a breadcrumber is to say something like: “I feel frustrated and start to spiral when I don't hear from you for several days, especially when I know that you've read my messages.
Breadcrumbing happens when someone gives you just enough time and attention to keep you interested. But breadcrumbers don't want to commit — instead, they manipulate you so that you're left wanting more. Responding inconsistently and not following up about plans are clear signs of breadcrumbing.
Store fresh (untoasted) bread crumbs sealed tightly in the fridge, where they'll stay fresh for about a week or so. For dry (toasted) bread crumbs, you can leave them at room temperature in the pantry or kitchen for about a month, assuming they're in an airtight container or freezer bag.
“... those who experience breadcrumbing remain in a 'standby' state with time, which can often make victims feel excluded. So, compared to ghosting, it is suffered as a more intense ostracism experience, which is why it has more negative effects on mental health.”
Absolutely! When someone breadcrumbs you, they do not see you as a potential, serious partner. They may say things that suggest otherwise, but it's only to string you along. Ignore them.
But have you heard about breadcrumbing? “In a relationship context, breadcrumbing refers to a person who gives you just enough 'crumbs' of attention or affection to give you hope and keep you on the hook — but not enough to make you feel comfortable or assured the relationship is going well,” explains Dr.
Narcissists breadcrumb you to get you hooked and to be in control. Sometimes narcissists breadcrumb you to keep you as an option as well. Breadcrumbing itself isn't always narcissistic, but it does seem to be especially common with narcissists.
It's the practice of leading someone on when they know the relationship won't go anywhere. Breadcrumbing also happens when the person 'likes' social posts but doesn't comment. However it happens, it's cruel for the person being breadcrumbed.
Research suggests that people who have been breadcrumbed tend to feel more lonely, more helpless, and less satisfied with life.
Stringing someone along is when you allow someone to believe something that's not true for a long time. Typically, it's in relation to your beliefs or/and intentions. The end result of stringing someone along is almost always hurt accompanied by anger. This is because it's rooted in deceit.