A close friend is honest and speaks from the heart with good intentions. They tell you what you need to hear in a way that you can hear rather than gossip behind your back. A quality friend is trustworthy, not only are your secrets safe with them, but so are your vulnerability, fear, and weirdness.
'False friendships' describe relationships where someone pretends to be your friend, or is your 'friend' sometimes, but actually uses their power to bully you. Sometimes bullying isn't as straight forward as someone openly being horrible to another person.
A true friendship is defined by knowing someone has your back, no matter what. A good friend will watch out for you and ensure you are safe, feel supported, and are loved. A good friend will never purposely lead you into making decisions or taking actions that aren't good for you.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
The most common reason isn't tension; it's just that friendships fizzle out, both experts say. Friends move, get a new job, start a family and may just gradually stop talking to each other. One study found we lose about half our friends every seven years, Franco says.
Remember that everyone feels left out sometimes. It's unlikely to be a common thing to happen unless you have fallen out with your friends, or they are socially isolating you. Know that being left out is usually temporary and that you won't be left out all of the time.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
True friendships are admittedly rare, but they are possible if you know how to be one yourself and what to expect from others you want to call friends.
A true friend never holds the unchangeable past against you; instead, they help your repair your present and future. If someone relentlessly judges you by your past and holds it against you, you might have to take matters into your own hands, and repair your present and future by leaving them behind.
If you find yourself constantly opening up to your friend and sharing your deepest secrets with them, but they never return the favor, they may not consider you a close enough friend to trust you.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
Unfriending can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, people choose to “weed out” their friends list by removing people they don't know well or no longer keep in touch with. Other times, they may unfriend someone over the content they share, such as differing political views, excessive negativity or spam posts.
They Don't Judge You
True friends know that judging is a way of making someone feel uncomfortable. You and your friend share a very comfortable zone with each other wherein you can speak to your friend about anything, and you will know that they won't judge for your situation or for what you did.
Jealousy is normal and doesn't have to spell the end of your friendship — but you do need to deal with it. Jealousy in friendships isn't just normal, but also common. As much as you may hate to admit it, odds are there have been times in your life when you've been jealous of your friends.
If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it. Your friend is dishonest or holds back information. “Deep connections require trust,” Schmitt says.