Covert narcissism often involves a more internalized experience. People with these traits still feel unappreciated, need admiration, have contempt for those they consider inferior, and believe they should get special treatment.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.
People with the vulnerable or covert form of NPD may appear shy, withdrawn, and lacking in confidence. Interacting with someone with covert narcissism may be difficult. In some cases, a person may need to limit or break contact with the individual to protect their mental and physical well-being.
While some people argue that NPD and mild narcissism are separate entities all together, others believe that narcissism can be thought of as on a spectrum, with lower levels what we might consider mild narcissism and higher levels which we would call NPD.
Introverted narcissists crave attention and admiration from others, but they don't feel comfortable around people who they deem inferior to them. They may also seem arrogant and egotistical due to their confidence in their own intelligence and beliefs.
Narcissists generally dislike spending too much time alone. They crave attention from others because it provides them with validation.
They can't ever leave themselves. Being a narcissist is seriously lonely. They can't build relationships that go the distance — not with families, friends and intimate partners. And their core insecurity means they don't even like themselves.
Mild: A mildly narcissistic person might be egotistical or boastful about their accomplishments but still function well in society.
Malignant narcissists are often regarded as having the most extreme form of NPD, and while they will have the regular qualities of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their self-absorption and self-obsession is accompanied by some darker behaviors as well.
Shallow emotions narcissists are unable to tolerate feelings of true sadness or guilt, or the strong emotions of others. Their comfort level is on the emotional surface.
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others.
If they choose to give us the silent treatment then it's up to them, not you. By establishing boundaries, enforcing consequences if necessary, sharing emotions with others, and speaking up for yourself; you will take away their power, thus protecting yourself from the narcissist's silent treatment.
Use Self-Deprecating Tactics
Among many other things covert narcissists do, a hallmark of their eccentricity is using false humility or self-deprecating comments to garner people's attention and seek validation. They trivialize their skills and accomplishments, so people reassure them or shower them with praise.
One of the most common traits of an aging narcissist is a sense of entitlement. They feel that they are owed things and that other people should cater to their every need and want. They may become manipulative and try to control those around them in order to get what they want.
Cerebral Narcissist Traits
They hyperfocus on intellectual topics and go to great lengths to ensure others view them as the “smartest” in the room. Some defining traits of NPD in general include: Lack of empathy. Sense of entitlement.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
These results suggest that the self-esteem of vulnerable narcissists is low, and their fragile sense of self-worth is hypersensitive and labile, while grandiose narcissists have generally higher and more stable self-esteem.
Understanding the condition better can help you manage your expectations and give yourself permission to prioritize your needs. While most people with NPD are not aware that they are narcissists, it's important to remember that no abuse is acceptable or excusable.
We tend to feel special when we feel loved. The problem for narcissists, though, is that they don't trust that they are really loved. Most of them have never felt loved in their lives, and so they doubt that they can actually be loved.”
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Exaggerated victimhood is a common feature of narcissistic grandiosity. Narcissistic personalities often feel victimized because of their unrealistic expectations, hypersensitivity, and lack of empathy. Narcissists also play the victim to elicit sympathy and avoid responsibility for their abusive behavior.