Relationships that involve physical or verbal abuse are definitely classified as toxic. But there are other, more subtle, signs of a toxic relationship, including: You give more than you're getting, which makes you feel devalued and depleted. You feel consistently disrespected or that your needs aren't being met.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
Toxic love: Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests. Love: Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth. Toxic love: Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
A toxic girlfriend couldn't stand the idea of you spending your time with anyone else. She expects to be the most important person in your life, all the time. What is this? Even if you want to spend time with your friends, colleagues, or family, she gets angry or upset.
In true love, there's no struggle in embracing the individuality of your partner. In toxic love, there is an obsession with trying to change your partner into someone you'd rather be with instead of loving them for who they are.
So, what's the underlying cause of these kinds of relationships? According to Behary, toxic relationships often stir up our deepest fears: "perhaps early trauma, early memories of abandonment or abuse, being made to feel that you're inadequate or unlovable, or being deprived of emotional attention," she says.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
Toxic relationships involve one or both partners engaging in reactive behavior and having unhealthy communication. These people create issues and escalate problems, often seeing themselves as the victim.
Remember that a toxic relationship is one where love is prioritized over everything else, including respect, trust, and affection for each other. It's more than just a “rough patch”—it's a recurring, long-term pattern of bad behavior on one or both sides.
Real love cannot happen in a toxic relationship.
You must first cleanse your relationship before you can even think of finding true love within it. But sometimes that isn't possible. Relationships are always difficult. Two people have to merge their lives and validate each other's decisions.
Toxic relationships also tend to be long-term relationships. What's up with that? Some of my longest-lasting relationships were also my most toxic relationships. And when I talk to other people who have also been in toxic relationships, that seems to hold true for many, if not most, of them as well.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that comes with a very big if. A toxic relationship can change if and only if both partners are equally committed to overcoming it with lots of open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help, individually and together.
In human behavior, toxic is used to describe someone who causes distress in others through negative words and actions. However, it isn't always easy to identify a toxic person, as their behaviors can be subtle.
The truth is that you can never be happy in a poisonous partnership. Any chance you may have to create the life you want is stifled and your goals are either postponed to a distant future or completely abandoned because all your energy is being given to this negative state.
That's exactly how your partner will feel when you show constant attention. Examples are: Sending long texts all day, keeping a tab about their whereabouts, wanting to spend every minute with them, or just asking for reassurance always. Loving too much is unhealthy and can hurt a relationship.
People with toxic traits know they have them
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about.
Gaslighting
Veasley says gaslighting is one of the most common forms of emotional manipulation and a toxic behavior you shouldn't tolerate. It's a good idea to identify ways to deal with gaslighting.