Known as 'The Four Horsemen', these are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. All couples are likely to engage in these communication styles at some point. However, if consistently experienced, these counterproductive behaviours can have a very negative impact on your relationship.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
Unhealthy reactions (Explosive, irritated, wounding, and insulted reactions). Healthy reactions (Calm, non-distrustful, and humble reactions). The unhealthy consequences of conflict are a loss of love, rejection, separation, embarrassing, and fear of refusal.
These kinds of disagreements can rapidly escalate into toxicity as once-friends become current enemies. As partners slip into poisonous conflicts, they can rapidly become volatile to win at any cost.
“Unhealthy disagreements may look like placing blame, making assumptions, bringing up past issues, name-calling, controlling the outcome, or avoiding the conversation altogether,” says Lickfelt.
Unhealthy responses to conflict: -An inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person; -Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions; -The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment; -An inability to compromise or see the other person's ...
It's personal, defensive, and unproductive. Unhealthy conflict often involves denial of the existence of problems, avoidance of dealing with issues, anger, blame, and manipulation. In unhealthy conflict, there are no real winners.
The negative effects of workplace conflict can include work disruptions, decreased productivity, project failure, absenteeism, turnover and termination. Emotional stress can be both a cause and an effect of workplace conflict.
However, when conflict is not productive or healthy, it can be harmful to everyone involved. Sustained, unresolved conflict can create tension at home or at work, can erode the strength and satisfaction of relationships, and can even make people feel physically sick or in pain.
Conflict can be a healthy part of personal and professional relationships. Extensive research has demonstrated that conflict, when managed properly, strengthens relationships and teams and can serve as a catalyst for better solutions, innovation and growth.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.
The toxic traits of a toxic person include unsupportive and unpleasant behavior, being manipulative, judgmental, controlling, and self-centered. Such people can be the cause of various negative feelings and emotions that you may be experiencing like depression, anxiousness, worthlessness, and unhappiness.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
Assuming bad intentions. When we react to things other people do, we're often more upset by what we think they intended than by the thing they did. If you slam the door on my hand, I will be a lot more upset with you if I think you did it on purpose than if I think it was an accident.
What is dysfunctional conflict? Dysfunctional conflict is a type of conflict that damages employee relations and hinders organizational progress. It can involve behavior such as aggression, hostility, or lack of respect toward others.
This type of workplace conflict is bad for business, because it can lead to downturns in productivity and increases in absenteeism. On an individual level, workplace conflict is stressful and unpleasant. This anxiety may spill over into other areas of life and disrupt, for example, personal relationships.
Healthy conflict isn't a contradiction. Rather, it's a way to work through difficult situations and different opinions that can strengthen your relationship rather than harm it.