Not listening to you, blaming you for their mistakes, and holding grudges against you are some weird things narcissists do. Being with such a person may affect your physical and mental health.
Narcissists are known for taking things out of context. This is their way of twisting the truth and making you look bad. For example, if you tell them you need some time alone, they may interpret this as you being uninterested in them. They will then use this against you by accusing you of being selfish and uncaring.
Among the weird things narcissists do to avoid taking responsibility for their own failings is blame-shifting. They will always blame others for their issues, never accepting responsibility for their own acts. This strategy will be used to make you feel guilty and influence you into doing what they want.
Use Self-Deprecating Tactics
Among many other things covert narcissists do, a hallmark of their eccentricity is using false humility or self-deprecating comments to garner people's attention and seek validation. They trivialize their skills and accomplishments, so people reassure them or shower them with praise.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
The narcissist stares to gain dominance over you. The stare is meant to make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel as if you are in danger or doing something wrong. The narcissist never wants you to feel comfortable in your life because it will make you much harder to control and manipulate.
Idealization. The first stage in a narcissistic relationship is “idealization” and is perhaps the most dangerous of them all. This is how they hook you! This phase always occurs right at the beginning of any relationship with a narcissist, and is where they will make you feel truly special.
Narcissists have an excessive need to be in control of their environment and other people and feel entitled to their unconditional attention and admiration. When these needs are threatened, their reaction is often extreme and they either become enraged or passive-aggressive.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate.
In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like: "You're my soul mate." "I've never met anyone like you before." "You understand me so much better than anyone else."
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Tease, ridicule, and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous.