No matter its roots, despair can lead us to a dark and sorrowful place. We may experience debilitating exhaustion, tearfulness, panic, even shame. Hopelessness, true to its name, convinces us that there is no way out. No point in trying, nothing that can be done to alleviate our misery.
For some, it's a feeling of being paralysed, numb, or heavy—when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and not move. It might include dark thoughts going round and round in a cycle, chest pain, or urges to cry. Whatever it is for you, feelings of despair and hopelessness can be really difficult.
Feelings of despair are very common
Just about everyone experiences some degree of despair and anxiety from time to time. Most of the time, these feelings are totally natural and justified, and may even be important emotions to feel in certain situations.
n. 1. the emotion or feeling of hopelessness, that is, that things are profoundly wrong and will not change for the better. Despair is one of the most negative and destructive of human affects, and as such it is a primary area for psychotherapeutic intervention.
Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism. Feelings of irritability, frustration, or restlessness. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness.
The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other.
Every life is eventually touched by tragedy. No one is exempt from sufferings such as illness or the loss of a loved one. Ways to reduce despair include acknowledging rather than hiding it, avoiding toxic positivity, and seeking out fellowship. Despair can bring a deeper understanding for the suffering of others.
Hope can be worse than despair. Pain comes in many forms. It can be sharp and searing, caused by grievous injuries, tragedy, betrayal.
/dɪˈsper/ the feeling that there is no hope and that you can do nothing to improve a difficult or ... See more at despair. (Definition of deep and despair from the Cambridge English Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)
Psychiatric disorders plausibly related to a sense of despair, such as major depression and anxiety disorders, have been studied for decades. Despair — derived from a Latin term meaning “down from hope” — might be just another way to describe these conditions.
The causes of hopelessness and demoralization are individual, such as loss, grief, poor health or abuse, and societal, such as cultural dislocation, economic upheaval, unemployment, poverty, or welfare dependency (Johnson and Tomren, 1999, Harper et al., 2002, Haatainen et al., 2004).
I was overcome by despair at being unable to find them. She finally gave up in despair. The people were driven to despair by the horrors of war. This latest setback has brought/carried/driven her to the depths of despair.
We often feel despair after tragic events in our lives, especially when we experience a significant loss. It tends to be the main emotion people feel after a sudden traumatic event, which is normal, but can lead to irrational decision-making in the heat of the moment.
In The Sickness Unto Death, Kierkegaard discusses two distinct forms that despair can take— despair of weakness and despair of defiance.
Despair is the feeling of not having any hope left. If you completely forgot to study for your final exam in math, you might feel despair when your teacher passes out the test. Despair can also refer to someone or something that causes you to worry or be sad.
Some common synonyms of despairing are desperate, despondent, and hopeless. While all these words mean "having lost all or nearly all hope," despairing suggests the slipping away of all hope and often despondency.
Hopelessness is a feeling of despair or lack of hope that life can feel better than it does. These feelings may make you pull back from your life and avoid doing things you usually enjoy or being with people you love. If hopelessness becomes severe, it can lead to suicidal thoughts.
Some common synonyms of hopeless are despairing, desperate, and despondent. While all these words mean "having lost all or nearly all hope," hopeless suggests despair and the cessation of effort or resistance and often implies acceptance or resignation.
Unlike other sins, however, despair is by tradition the sole sin that cannot be forgiven; it is the conviction that one is damned absolutely, thus a repudiation of the Christian Saviour and a challenge to God's infinite capacity for forgiveness.
Using 'Desperate'
Desperate shares a root with despair, with both words deriving from the Latin verb sperare, meaning "to hope." It has many shades of meaning, but most pertain to the notion of having lost hope, or of wanting or needing something badly.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” The Good News: Even when you're in low spirits, God still loves you.
despairing suggests the slipping away of all hope and often despondency. desperate implies despair that prompts reckless action or violence in the face of defeat or frustration.
Disorganization and Despair: This phase is marked by initial acceptance of the reality of the loss. The grieving person may experience feelings of apathy, anger, despair, and hopelessness. The person often desires to withdraw and disengage from others and the activities they regularly enjoyed.
There are three kinds of despair presented in the book: being unconscious in despair of having a self, not wanting in despair to be oneself, and wanting in despair to be oneself.
Consequences of Despair
Decreased life satisfaction: When people feel despair at this stage, they are also less likely to feel satisfied with their lives going forward. This can have an effect on their ability to cope with stress and decrease their resilience.