Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Deny them what they want.
Many narcissists are users. They expect you to be there for them, but they have no intention of reciprocating. Start saying “no” to them, and focus on what you want instead. They'll get super frustrated and realize how great a partner you were for them.
Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing. But you can also stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and refuse their gaslighting strategies.
Saying 'No', enforcing boundaries and challenging them are some of the tips on how to checkmate a narcissist by making them fear you. Holding them accountable, publicly exposing them and going 'no contact' are other strategies on how to outsmart a narcissist.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Tease, ridicule, and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous.
Due to their low social competence, vulnerable narcissists often do not receive the attention and admiration they are searching for to satisfy their high sense of entitlement. This negative experience contributes to their enhanced levels of (social) anxiety [77].
remember that ignoring them is the only way to truly hurt a narcissist forever.
Hurt the ego, hurt the narcissist
If you hurt their ego in any way, they will react hard and fast. You see, narcissists are all about their ego. That is who they are, what they do, what they believe, and the image they want to show to the world.
Narcissists have an excessive need to be in control of their environment and other people and feel entitled to their unconditional attention and admiration. When these needs are threatened, their reaction is often extreme and they either become enraged or passive-aggressive.