Empaths are those who have developed survival mechanisms when facing challenging environments in their childhood that carry out into their adulthood. They extend themselves outwardly, taking on and empathizing with the emotions of others, even their abusers.
A portion of empaths I've treated have experienced early trauma such as emotional or physical abuse, or they were raised by alcoholic, depressed or narcissistic parents. This could potentially wear down the usual healthy defenses that a child with nurturing parents develops.
Childhood neglect or abuse can affect your sensitivity levels as an adult. A portion of empaths I've treated have experienced early trauma such as emotional or physical abuse, or they were raised by alcoholic, depressed, or narcissistic parents.
Although many people assume that we're born with empathy, empathetic behaviours can actually be taught and regulated. The way we relate to other people's emotions can change throughout our lives, depending on factors such as upbringing, family dynamics, culture, career choice, and relationships.
Although empathy is a relatively common human ability, empaths are people with higher-than-normal sensitivity that only make up around 2% of the population.
1 Being an empath comes with a lot of positive traits. For one, Brown says, empaths are "highly intuitive and emotionally intelligent," so they can read the room, pick up on other people's energy, and be very aware of their own emotions, too. The catch? Taking on everyone's feelings can be a lot.
Personality types ENFP, ENFJ, INFJ, and INFPs are natural empaths per the MBTI Personality types. Empaths are also called Idealists & Diplomats. Highly Sensitive People belong to these MBTI types.
The empath concept is controversial. Opinion is divided on whether empaths actually exist. There is also debate around some abilities associated with empaths. For instance, empaths are thought to have special skills in reading others, detecting lying, and healing.
And when they were struggling — it was my fault. Studies show that empaths make excellent parents. I believe it's our attuned attention. We notice ALL aspects of our child's life, not just the ones that impact us — that makes all the difference.
Empaths and intimate relationships
While empaths can make wonderful caring friends, in a romantic relationship they can often find it difficult. Empaths tend to love hard and intensely, experiencing deep feelings of connection.
As empaths, we are more in tune with our own energetic bodies and tend to feel emotions at a deeper level. In fact, we also have the tendency to absorb others' energy. When we are under a lot of stress in our own lives or there is a lot of stress around us, we can feel sadder or even depressed.
Compared to someone who is highly sensitive (empathetic vs. empathic), an empath has a greater sensory awareness and feels extremely emotional about others, their surroundings, and the visual images or media they're exposed to. (You'll often hear empaths say even TV commercials can elicit spontaneous crying).
Heyoka empaths are said to be the rarest and most powerful variety, acting as a spiritual mirror to those around them to assist their growth. The Heyoka's unorthodox approach to life makes others question their own preconceived notions of what's right and wrong, real and fantasy.
Both an empath and narcissist are very sensitive individuals but in different ways. Empaths may internalize what other people are going through, blaming themselves for being unable to make others feel better. And on the other hand, narcissists tend to intensely dislike criticism or feelings of inadequacy.
Narcissists, for example, are attracted to people they will get the greatest use from. Often, this means they pursue and target empaths.
Watching violent news; being around sarcastic, critical, or narcissistic people; or spending days at an amusement park are not things empaths enjoy. To feel their best, empaths need to minimize or avoid situations like this unless they want to end up feeling exhausted, drained, used, or anxious.
The narcissist in this position will take advantage of the empath and see their compassion as weakness. The attraction between the two is profoundly due to their complementary desires, unhealthy as it may be to seek attention and validation from one another.
People who are highly empathetic may unconsciously mirror other people's movements. MRI scans have shown that there is a neural relay mechanism in the brain that allows empaths to mimic the postures, mannerisms, and facial expressions of others. Interestingly, this mimicry also applies to tiny movements.
Empaths might also shy away from physical contact. They might be uncomfortable being in close proximity to people, especially those who express love through hugs and other forms of physical touch. This can become problematic in romantic relationships if the empath struggles to let their guard down and be intimate.
Over time, empaths can become programmed to avoid external stimulation or need very little of it to feel happy. Whether or not a person is introverted, some common side effects of hyper-sensitivity can include exhaustion, overload, depression, and anxiety.
Those who are extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging are often identified as one of the kindest types by experts. "ESFJs have extroverted feeling as a dominant cognitive function," Gonzalez-Berrios says. "This makes them rule by their hearts. They are kind, polite, friendly, and sensitive."
Empaths are usually introverts, and they require a certain amount of alone time in order to recharge. A study from 2011 suggests there may be a link between highly empathic individuals and social anxiety.
Others, though, will thrive in an environment where they can help others and provide emotional support. Empaths have a connection to others' emotions and an ability to understand their experiences. They are great listeners and are often sought out for advice. These traits make them well-suited to be psychologists.