Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.
They Might Fear Conflict
“People cheat often out of fear of facing conflict,” explains Klapow. “They know there are problems in the relationship, but they don't know how to dive in deep with their partner to [fix the problems]. Cheating allows them to escape.”
“Cheating guilt is the biggest side-effect of infidelity. A person might be happy with their lover, but there is no escaping the guilt of letting down their legally wedded spouse or committed partner. This can even affect their self-esteem,” says Tania.
Many things may go through the mind of a cheating man. Psychology plays a role, with elements of insecurity, self-perception, self-loathing, anger, and impulsivity. But mental and emotional factors being in play do not excuse infidelity. Everyone is in control of their own actions.
One of the most significant characteristics of people who cheat is a lack of commitment. They don't really want to be in a relationship, even though they may have entered into a committed relationship with you. They either fear commitment, or they tend to get bored soon after entering the exclusive couple.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
A whole separate phone or SIM card
The most clever cheaters may use a separate phone or SIM card to keep phone communication discreet. A SIM card is especially devious because your partner can use the same device and then switch out the entire volume of data without anyone realizing it.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
There were no effects of one's own infidelity and that of one's partner on reactive and anxious jealousy, but those who had been unfaithful, as well as those whose partner had been unfaithful, expressed the highest levels of possessive jealousy.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
Cheaters karma is quite similar as well. If you have made bad decisions in your relationship and treated your partner poorly, deceived them, and broken their heart by fooling around, then there are chances you will face karma's wrath.
A cheater might suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a narcissistic view of seeing things. Some people have a tendency for attention-seeking and once they are satisfied with one person they might go on to another to fulfil their needs and validate themselves.
Most definitely. The consequences of cheating in a relationship often expand beyond the marriage itself. Close friends and family aren't shy about expressing disappointment in the cheater's actions. Friends may not want to spend time with that person and family feels hurt at what their relative has done.
The Progression of Infidelity
Much like the stages of grief, the stages of infidelity are not always linear. For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity.
Cheaters can change because they learn about themselves and what led them to cheat in the first place. They get help from others so they can understand what they did to their partner. Cheaters can change because they are humans and humans can change.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Pathological lying or lying compulsively can also be a symptom of antisocial personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. People with these personality disorders may lie to gain sympathy or social status, or to preserve a false sense of self.
Those who cheat for relationship reasons do so because they don't feel satisfied. "Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says.
INTJs and INFJs are the most secretive of all personality types. They can take a while to trust someone and they often prefer to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.